你果然是最跳的 😂@总有zz追着我bb



Princess Sally:


Then they drank once round and became mighty merry all of a sudden. But they did not quite lose their wits. "Save us, Galion!" cried some."you begin your feasting early and muddled your wits! You have stacked some full casks here instead of the empty ones,if there is anything in weight."

"Get on with the work!" growled the butler. "There Is nothing in the feeling of weight in an idle toss-pot's arms. These are the ones to go and no others. Do as I say !"

     "Very well, very well," they answered rolling the barrels to the opening. "On your head be it, if the king's full butter-- tubs and his best wine is. pushed into the river for the Lake-men to feast on for nothing!"He woke again with a specially loud sneeze. It was already grey morning, and there was a merry".racket down by the river.

They were making up a raft of barrels, and the raft-elves would soon be steering it off down the stream to Lake-town Bilbo sneezed again. He was no longer dripping but he felt cold all over. He scrambled down as fast as his stiff legs would take him and managed just in time to get on to the mass of casks without being noticed in the general bustle. Luckily there was no sun at the time to cast an awkward shadow, and for a mercy he did not sneeze again for a good while.

     There was a mighty pushing of poles. The elves that were standing in the shallow water heaved and shoved.The barrels now all lashed together creaked and fretted.

     "This is a heavy load!"some grumbled. "They float too deep-Some of these are never empty. If they had comeashore in the daylight, we might have had a look inside," they said.

     "No time now!" cried the raftman. "Shove off!"

     And off they went at last, slowly at first, until they had passed the point of rock where other elves stood to fend them off with poles,and then quicker and quicker as hey caught the main stream and went sailing away down, down towards the Lake. 

第一棒 @Janet布丁 


第二棒 @リンギル 

So they all had a round of drinks and suddenly became excited. But they hadn’t reached the point of being アホウ. "Come on, Galion!" Someone shouted, "you have already started your holiday, and now you are having too much! You piled up the full buckets here as if they were empty, they’re really too 太った."
“Behave yourself and go to work." The manager calls. “Everything’s too heavy for you little slackers. That’s it, nothing wrong. Be good.”
"All right, all right," they pushed the barrel into the opening while answering. "If the King's butter and wine are pushed into the river, letting those people in the river have a free meal, then you’ll be fucked by the King!”
He woke up with a huge sneeze. It's dawn, and it started being noisy on the riverbank. The elves organized the barrel, and the spirits of raft threw them into the river and rushed to the Lake-town. Bilbo sneezed again. He was no longer wet, but was freezing. He ran as fast as he could with his frozen little legs, and finally got on the raft in chaos and without being spotted. Luckily, the sungonggong had not risen yet, so he wouldn’t have himself followed by an embarrassing shadow, and Eru PaPa sympathized with him so he didn’t sneeze for a while.
Some of the elves are holding up with long poles, and some are pushing to get the rafts off the shore. The elves standing in the shallow water dragged and dragged. Buckets are now tied together, rubbing against each other.
"This raft is really fucking heavy!" An elf complained, "they rides very low - some are definitely not empty, maybe there're something weird inside, dirty dwarfs maybe. If they come during the daytime, we may be able to see what's inside, "they said.
“We’re out of time now!" The poling one shouted. “Push!"
The raft finally drifted away, slowly at first, until they came alongside that big stone, where the semen pushed the raft off with a long pole. Then it entered the main channel, becoming faster and faster, drifting to the faraway Lake-town.

第三棒 @泽拉大魔王 


第四棒 @Alessar 

Thus, each of them has a cup and soon enough, becomes excited. Luckily, however, they are still awake, not heady and euphoric. ‘Come on, Galion!’ somebody shouts, ‘Here comes your holiday! You have eaten too much now and you leave all these buckets of wine here as if they are all empty—they are far too messy!’

  ‘Be obedient young boy, go back to work!’ the elf in command shouts back, ‘For lazy bones of your kind, everything is heavy. Ay, keep going, you’re doing fine!’

  ‘As you wish, sire.’ They mumble as they roll the buckets, ‘sf the sweet wine and fine butter of our king is thrown into the river and later becomes free lunch of the dwellers, you will get f**ked right here on the floor sooner or later!’

  He sneezes as he wakes up. The day has already shone. The river band is now clamorous—elves stack the buckets and throw them into the river on a raft icy water will then drift them to Lake Town. Bilbo sneezes again, he’ s not wet but freezing. He runs as fast as possible with his almost frozen legs and eventually grovels on the raft in the chaos without being seen. Thank Eru, the sun is not high above so there won’t be any embarrassing shadow that follows. Clear enough, Eru is truly in his favor, later Bilbo doesn’t sneeze.

  Some elves row the boat with long rod and others push it as it leaves the river bank. Buckets are now tied together, rubbing.

  ‘The raft is so dam heavy!’ one of the elves standing in shallow water who is dragging the raft complains, ‘It’s definitely not empty, see how deep the draught. Something must be inside, like ragged dwarves.’ ‘If it comes in the early morning, we may open up and see what’s inside.’ They say.

  ‘But now we are running out of time.’ Another yells, ‘Push! Now!’

  Finally the raft drifts away slowly. Until it gets close to a huge rock and elves push it with rod does the raft enter the main channel. It flows faster and faster to Lake Town far away.

第五棒 @Nierninwa 



"We will, sir. " "If our king's wine and butter are thrown into the river to become the free food of the residents, you will be harshly fuck on the floor here sooner or later," they grunt. When he woke up, he sneezed, and it was time for the sun to shine. The river banks are very noisy. The elves heaped up the barrels and installed the rafts, and the icy river would send them to the town of Chang Hu. Bill had sneezed again. He was not wet, but he felt chilled to the bone. He ran away with his frozen legs, and finally climbed into a raft without confusion. Thank you, as the sun has not risen so high that he has cast a sneaky shadow. Moreover, he was obviously as well liked, and he would not sneeze for a while. Some elves rowed with long poles while others pushed the boat off the river bank. The buckets were tied together and rubbed with each other. "This ship is too damn!" A wizard who dragged a raft in shallow water complained, "it's definitely not empty. Let's see how deep the draft is. There must be something in it, such as a miserable dwarf. "If they arrive early in the morning, we can open up and see what's inside." They said. "But now we have no time." The other yelled, "fast, push!" The raft finally drifted away. When it approached a huge stone, the elf pushed it to the main river with a pole. It floats faster and farther towards the long lake town.

第七棒 甩莉





















第八棒 @希望变得勤奋的哲 

(Every dwarf drank the Elf’s wine and they were reborn in desire. Then they enter the GokuRakuJoudo. As they were entertaining themselves in Gokurakujoudo, the elves came.)

Elf A (smiling charmingly): Come! Master Galion! Now is your turn! You can’t be more satisfied, but there was some wine in the glass! Look at yourself! You are making a mess here.

Conductor (frowned and yelled): Obey the order, young man! This young little girl is badly behaved, and LAZY!!

(Conductor clapped his hands solemnly wanting to draw other elves’ attention)

Galion(annoyed): AHHHHHHHHHH! We will do our job perfectly, sir!

(The drunken Galion put his hands around the Conductor’s neck, but he was immediately thrown away)

Elf A(BB silently) If the King’s butter and wine are thrown into the river by mistake and are taken by those scums for free lunch, sooner or later, the King will sweep you with the floor.

(Obviously the conductor had heard the complaints of Elf A. He glared at Elf A, pointing his ear to say that he knew exactly what the Elf is talking.)

Bilbo(Open his eyes in confusion): AHhhhhh(sneeze)…whaaaaaaat is going on?

(At this time the sun had risen from the horizon. Noise came from the river bank as if there were a group of minstrels having a concert.)

Bilbo(Speak to himself) Oh! Look at those elves, they are carrying the barrels to the boats. Cold water will finally bring the barrels to the Happiness Town! Quick, Bilbo! Keep up with them before they notice you!

(Though not getting wet by the water, Bilbo still felt the bitter cold air everywhere. The elves were still playing while working, thus no one noticed that a Hobbit had successfully sneaked into their boat.)

Bilbo(squeezed his nose): Praise the sun! Finally I don’t sneeze anymore!

(Elves started to pull the boat from the water and tied the barrels together.)

Galion(Angry): Damn it! This boat is fu*king heavy! By the King’s crown, I dare to swear that it is definitely not empty! Guess what will we find if we open the barrel!

Elf A (Laugh): A silly, poor dwarf? Hhhhhhhhhh

(Elf A leaned near and was about to open the barrel. Bilbo’s heart had nearly jumped out of his chest.)

Conductor(Seriously): Now we don’t have time for checking! Be quick! Push hard!

(The boat was soon be pushed into the mainstream of Mirkwood river, quickly flowed towards Happiness Town.)

Bilbo( Put his hand over his chest with relief): That was fu*king scary!!!!!

第九棒 @看到青钰请叫她去写字/写文 


第十棒 @The Gray Dawn 

 (The dwarves all drank the elvish wine exultantly, and in their thirst they felt renewed as if they had entered Aman. But when they were enjoying themselves in this unreal land, the elves came.)

Elf A: (smiling charmingly) Come on, Lord Galion! Now it's your turn to cheer us up! There's still wine in the glass, and you'll surely be satisfied, as satisfied as fried chicken! Look at yourself. You're making a mess here.

Administrator: (shouting while frowning) Behave yourselves, elfins! What a poor little girl, and how TM lazy she is!

(The administrator clapped his hands seriously to draw the attention of the other elves.)

Galion: (impatiently) Big Brother, do you know how hard we worked??????!

(The drunk Galion hung himself around the administrator's neck, but he was soon pushed aside.)

Elf A: (BB in a low voice. JPG) If the King's cheeses and wine are accidentally thrown to the river and eaten by the group of moths for free, you will certainly be swept out like rubbish — and never be qualified to be his fans again.

(However, the quiet BB of Elf A was still heard by the administrator, who pointed to his ears to show that he was not deaf and could completely hear what they were BBing.)

Bilbo: (opening his eyes wide, feeling puzzled) Emmmmmmm, what fur are they doing in deed?

(这里一开始机翻是are they having sex?Σ( ° △ °|||)︴没想到你是这样的有道词典)


(Just then, the sun rose above the horizon, and there was a noise from the bank, like a dozen Maglors practicing their voices.)




Bilbo: (to himself) Oh, look at the elves, they're carrying barrels to the boat! The water will carry these barrels to Happy Town. Come on Bilbo, follow these deaf and blind crawfish before they know it!

(Even though he was not wet by the water, Bilbo could feel the cold air around. The elves were working while stroking the fish, and no one noticed a little hobbit slipping into their boat.)

Bilbo: (pinching his nose) Praise the sun! I finally stopped sneezing!

(The elves began to push the boat into the water and tie the barrels together.)

Galion: (in a huff) What the Morgoth, how did this boat become so *** heavy? I can swear by the branches on our King's head that these are not empty! What do you think we'll find if we open these barrels?

Elf A: (laughing) A silly dwarf? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ~

(Elf A leaned over and was about to open the barrel. Bilbo's poor little heart was about to jump out of his throat.)

Administrator: (seriously) We don't have time to check! Give it a good shove!

(The boat was soon pushed into the main stream of Mirkwood River, drifting briskly toward Happy Town.)

Bilbo: (placed a hand on his heart in relief) That's too f[harmony]ing scary!!!!


第十一棒 @welleran 








(然而,精灵A 悄没声儿的BB还是被管理员听见了,他指着自己的耳朵以示他不聋,完全能听清他们正在BB什么)













第十二棒 @Riverrun 

The dwarves they drank all of the wine from the elves with joy, and felt themselves almost reborned from the honey-like liquid. As their mind wandered to the fairyland, the woodelves came. 
An elf yelled: 'Master Galion, come on! It's your turn now. Join us, and let us havefun! 'His cheeks blushed for alcohol. 
The sheriff looked a bit mad, 'Watch your words, pixie! You guys are passionate, but too lazy. 'He clapped his hands to draw others' attention. 
'Did you know that this dumbass job has already wiped us out? 'With this Galion stood up and put his arm around the sheriff's waist, and grinned. Although he was pushed aside.
The other elf whispered, 'if our king knows that his cheese and vintages were tossed in the stream, eaten by a bunch of jerks, we will be in great trouble...and we will never be able to praise him! 'Yet the sheriff heard him, he pointed his ear to mention the elf his audition was still exellent. 
Bilbo kept his eyes wide open, 'What the hell are they doing? 'The sun just rose, from the shore came a burst of noises, almost as loud as Maedhros roaring to his six younger brothers. 
Bilbo whispered to himself, 'O, look at those elves, they are loading these barrels to the rafts. The stream will take them to the fairyland! Go, Bilbo, go! Keep up with these deaf Brains of Cthulhu! 'He could feel the chiling air, even that he did not actually get into the river. The elves were trying to appease the fishes, no one noticed the hobbit who sneaked into their cabin. 
He thought to himself, 'Praise to Azura! I no longer have to be irritated by sneezes! '
The elves pushed the tied rafts away from the shore. 
Galion yelled: 'In the name of Morgoth, how comes these foolish rafts be so heavy? I swear to my king's crown, these barrels can't be empty. I say we open them and see what's inside. '

第十三棒 @Anorcuron











第十四棒 @猴子请来的逗比 

The dwarves drank all the elf's beer happily,and thought that they came from those honey liquor.

One of the evles said:"Monsignor Callian,come on!It is your round!Let's playus die?"Then Callian smiled,and standed off,put his arm on the Commander's waist---though he was refused.

The other one said in a low voice:"If our king know that his chess and beer was thrown into the water,and let some uncanny things to make it disappear,we will go in to trouble...We won't have chance to eulogize him any more!"But when the Commander heared what he had said,and then shook his ears as if he was a radar to warn that his ears still can use.

Bilbo was astonished ,"WTF?What are they doing?"The sun rose just now,and some noise was made from the bands,as loud as his screech.

He told to himself:"Oh,look,those evles were putting some barrels on the raft.Rivers will bring them to evles' paradies.Go there,Bilbo,go!Go with these little bourgeoisie!"Although he didn't jump into the river,he still flet cold wind.The evles were trying to make fish clamed down,and no one pay a attention to this hobbit who ran into cabin.

He thought,"Thanks for Saint-Stalin!I'm free from sneezing any more!"

The elves pushed the raft away from band.Gallian said,"Oh,boys!Why this raft is so heavy?I make a flag,we'd better to open and check it."

第十五棒 @Elenar 










第十六棒 @杨不找(Élast) 

The dwarfs drank elves beer happily, just thought they were like those honey wine.

An elf said,"Come on, Galion Your Excellency! It's your turn! Let's vangame together!"His face were like monkey's buttocks because of alcohol.

The commander looked like a little angry,"Pay attention to your manner of speaking, arrogant fool! Your heart is hot like fire, but you are too lazy!" He clapped his hands, trying catching others' attention.

“Just like this stupid job will make us lose our lives.”Galion smiled, then put a bracelet on the commander's waist, though he was resisted.

Other elf murmured,"If our king knows that his chess and wine were thrown into water, and disappeared because of some mysterious mcreatures, we are not far from dying…We'll even lose the chance to extol him!" The commander heard his words, shaking his ears like radar, to prove that his audition was still good.

Bilbo was stunned," What the hell! What are they fucking doing!" The sun had just risen, the crowd made as loud a noise as his screams.

He spoke to himself," Don't believe me just watch, elves are loading barrels onto the ship, and rivers will take them into the doggerels of elves'. Follow them up, Bilbo! Go with those tuhao!" Although he didn't dive into the river, he felt the cold wind blowing as well. Elves were busy finding a place for fishes, thus no one noticed that a little hobbit ran into the cabin.

He thought,"Thanks to Stalin! Now I'll never kerchoo any more!"

The elves pushed the ship away from the crowd. "Oops, bro," said Galion. "Why is this ship so heavy? I'll set up a flag, and we have to open the cabin and look it up again. "

第十七棒 @仲夏之雪 









第十八棒 @Rilelen 

The dwarves drank wine from the elves because it drank like honey and sweet wine. An elf said, “Come on, your majesty, it's your turn! Let's play some interesting (we all know what they are)games.” His face was as red as Anar because of alcohol.
The commander was a little angry.“Pay attention to your words, arrogant as Turin's fool! Your heart is as hot as the fire of Alqualondë, but you are as lazy as Valar(ready to enter Mandos)!" He jumped and applauded, trying to attract attention.
"It is this foolish work that will kill us." Gallion smiled and handed the commander a jewelry bracelet, though he was turned down.
Another elf smacking his mouth and murmur, "If our noble king knows that his beloved chess and wine are thrown into the water and disappear with some unknown creatures... We are not far away from Mandos, and we will lose the opportunity to praise our king. Ah!!! Our king is so pretty that nearly everybody falls in love with him!!! " The commander heard these words and shook his head like Dobby in the next scene, trying to prove that his ears were not bad.
Bilbo was stunned. “Eru Ilúvatar!Why they behave like Morgoth? " At this time Anar rose, and the crowd clamored over his cries.
He said to himself, “don't believe what I saw just now. The elves threw the bucket into the river and followed them. Follow these tyrants (?)! "Though he did not jump the river, he still shivered in the cold wind. The elves were busy looking for fish, so that no one could see a hobbit running into the hut. 
He thought, "thanks to the national and the party!  " Now I don't want to come again! " 
The elves pushed the boat out of the crowd. "Ah, brother," Gallion said, "Why is the boat so heavy? I'll open the hatch and see it again. "










第二十棒 @工二一 

Of Elves and Dwarves.

They sit and sip the serum sweet, 
For it beats the best beer brew breed. 

Then says an elf, 
“Come, my liege, thy turn forth came.
For we shall play some jolly golly gay game.”

There mads and claps a lord,
“Mind, fool of a Doorin, thy word. 
For thy heart heats like the hot Hokkaido,
Yet void like the Valar in Valinor. 

Then Galion chuckles and tackles with a wristlet crystal,
“These lame work will lay waste to us.” 

Another elf chews his food, 
“If our king mighty knew that his light butter and high wine got casted into the bright river, it would be such a blight that we would be on a flight to Mandos nigh.

Nought shall the glory we brought to our lord. He is sooooooooo pretty that we love him!! Yeah!! All hail the king!! We love him!!! Yeah yeah yeah!!! 

The commander (where did he come from?) listens and shakes his head like Adobe (dou bi), trying to hear if this has been edited by Premiere or After Effect. 

Bilbo is aghast, 
“I choked a mother yeah! Why are they acting like Mushrooms?”

Then, Anar the sun goddess stood up, and the world darkens. 
“Cannot believe what I just saw. Elves tossing barrows into the river. Follow them. Follow these crazy nuts. Though he decided to leap over the tarn, he still shivered.” 

The elves were busy looking for fish, sharks, whales, eels, jellyfish, manta rays, dolphins, Chondrichthyes, and Osteichthyes. So no one went into the Hobbito sapien’s home. And he yells, “Praise the Party and thank the Valar!” But I don’t want to see that again. 

The elves, again, squeeze the human out of the boat, if there are any. “Ah bro, why is this so heavy? I’m going to look into the cabin again.” Says Galion. 

第二十一棒 @妮涅尔·涅诺尔 


第二十二棒 @佛罗伦萨的俯瞰者 

These are the elves and drawfs.

They surrounded there, sipping serum withsuger, beating their best beer regularly and seeking to breed. Then one of theelves said, ”Come, my obedient lord, the fourth turn is yours to play somepleasant, amazing gay games.”

There was a maniac lord clapping his hands.“Oh my sanity! A fool in the door, your world. For your heart gets warm likeheated Hokkaido beer, while your voice sounds like a Valar in Valinorexclaiming: Prepare for your trip to Námo’s halls! 

Then with a crystal bracelet tool, Galliangiggled, “This curios speaks nothing but lies and nonsense.” Another elfpondering over his dinner, “ If our king knew that his light butter andhigh-alcohol wine were thrown into the rive, we shall have a brighter flight toMandos!” 

Nothing, we’ve brought all the glory to ourlord. He is such brilliantly such stunningly beautiful, making everyone of usinfatuated. Oh! Marvellous! Everyone welcomes our king! Everyone loves him so!Wonderful! Excellent! Extraordinary! 

Hearing these praise, the high knight shookhis head hard like a domestic little elf. This was edited by a heroine oreffected by hard efforts.

Bilbo objected, “Oh my! Why are they actinglike a group of mushroom!”

Then the whole world darkened as thesun-goddess Anor rose to stand. “Can’t believe what I have seen. The elves arethrowing bacon into river. Following them——these crazy bastards, they are stilltrembling even when they have decided to leap over the small lake in themountains.”

These elves were busy looking fish, sharks,killer whales, eels, jellyfish, manta rays, dolphins, various cartilaginous orboney fish, so no one can get into the Hobbit’s house. Then he shouted, “Hailour great communist party, thanks to the Valars! But I do not want to see thatagain! “

These elves squeezed the men out of theship like squeezing juice, and then nothing left. “Oh brother,why is it suchheavy. I want to see what’s in this dark room.” Galliansaid.


第二十三棒 @人鱼藻 





Princess Sally:





第一棒 @リンギル 


第二棒 @周雲生 

Suddenly, in the boiling anger awakened frodo. It was a surprise even to himself. "The Hobbit Zhuang first school!" Hobbit (zhuang...... The first school...... First of all... Taidao...... It...)... He shouted, quickly jump into the Boromir feet, bend the body, it looks very scary at the feet, to use through the pill (through pill) by thrusting. With a loud groan barked, the foot quickly fell back to a pill through hand ye out from frodo. The blade on the black blood drop falling on the floor, the smoke. Baltic hit the door second times and slammed the door. "It is the first of the Hobbit Zhuang Tachi ah!" Aragon called. "The Hobbit spike is really powerful! The son of Zhuo! You have a good knife! "... "You can't go through this guy." He said so. The orks stood motionless, and the dead silence pervaded. "I serve the mystic fire, but the fire is also Anuolu. You can't go through this guy. The dark fire, the flame of udun to you this guy with no benefit. It's better to go back to the everlasting darkness. You can't go through this guy. " Who has no answer. Although the flame in its body looks like it is going to be extinguished, the color of its shadow is thicker. It slowly stepped out and approached the bridge. Then the body was suddenly long, the wings spread out and almost touched the wall. Even so, Gandalf figure also shimmering in the dark, clearly visible (original with soft light is actually dry tofu!). The figure is very small, they are quietly reflected in the walls, gray body bent, like a wind with old trees. In the shadow of red flames leapt out of puff sword. Gram de flashing bright white light with rin. Double kengran collided with a white flame off. The sword is backwards, it melted into pieces scattered everywhere. The magic wobbled a step on the bridge, and then stood still. "You can't go through this guy." He said so. The Balrog leaped on to the bridge, a whip "poofing" poofing "roar. "He can't do it alone!" Aragon suddenly shouted and ran back to the bridge. "In the name of e!" He raised his voice. "I come back, gandalf!"

第三棒 @布丁 

“你不能过去!”他说。半兽人僵立着,一片死寂。“我是神秘之火的仆人,驾驭阿诺尔之火。你个呆头滚远点,黑暗之火,乌顿之焰对你没卵用,滚回永恒的黑暗中去吧!你个傻逼不能过去!” 炎魔没有回答。尽管它躯体里的火好像快要熄灭,但阴影愈发深重。它缓慢地步上桥来。之后它的躯体突然变长,双翼横展直抵城墙。尽管如此,甘道夫的身影依然在黑暗中闪耀,(事实上微光几乎烘干了豆腐)。那个身影十分渺小,悄无声息地反射在墙上,豆腐的的身影苍老又佝偻,像一棵被狂风击打的老树。在阴影中,一把红焰缠绕的长剑挥出。格拉姆德凛剑闪着明亮的寒光应战。两剑交击,白焰迸射。炎魔向后退去,它的剑融化成碎片撒向四周。巫师在桥上摇晃了一下,依然站定。“你滚!”他说。炎魔气得纵身一跃,直接跳到了桥上,鞭子在空中挥舞,嘶嘶作响。“他不能自己一个人上!”阿拉贡突然大喊,跑回了桥上,“以那个变成星星的精之名!”他高喊,“我来了,干豆腐!”

第四棒 @The Gray Dawn 

Suddenly Frodo woke up in a terrible rage. It was a surprise even for himself. "The first death-seeking squad of Hobbiton! (the first death-seeking squad of Hobbiton, FIRST, you know it)" he cried. At a stroke he jumped towards the feet of Boromir and crouched down. The scene looked terrible from this angle, and he could only take pills to soothe the wounded spirit. With a loud moan of a dog, a foot quickly stepped on the pills in Frodo's hand. Black blood on the blade fell to the ground with smoke swirling nearby. Baltic struck and pounded twice. "Eru, this is the first time that Hobbiton has ever seen such a terrible thing!" Aragorn shouted, "Hobbits are so fxxking fierce when stabbing people! Oh my Eru Ilúvatar, you have a great knife!"

"You shall not pass!" he said. Orcs stood rigidly in silence. "I am the servant of Secret Fire reining the fire of Anor. Keep your dull head out of my way. The dark fire, the flame of Udûn doesn't work for you. Go back to the eternal darkness! You shall not pass, you fool!"

The balrog didn't answer. Though the fire in its body seemed to be dying out, the shadows deepened. It came slowly to the bridge. Then its body suddenly grew longer, and its wings spread directly to the wall. Even so, Gandalf's figure still sparkled in the dark (in fact, the twilight almost dried Tofu). That figure was fairly small, reflected silently on the wall. Tofu's figure was old and bent like an old tree beaten by the wild wind. In the shadow, a long sword with red flames coiled round it swung out. Glamdring met the attack, shining with a bright cold light. The two swords bounced off each other and a white flame leapt out. The balrog receded and its sword melted into pieces spread around. The wizard swayed on the bridge and then stood still. "Get out of the way!" he said. Angrily, the balrog leapt straight up to the bridge with its whip swung in the air and hissed.

"He shouldn't fight alone!" Aragorn suddenly cried and ran back to the bridge. "In the name of the elf who became a star!" he shouted, "I'm here, Dry Tofu!"

第五棒 @welleran 



第六棒 甩莉

Suddenly, Frodo waked up in violent wrath. The terrible emotion even made himself shocked.


‘The suicide squad of Hobbiton! ’He screamed and jumped to hit Boromir’s knees.


Being watched from here, the spot he saw was extremely better. Hence, he must take some pills to comfort his little heart. With loud baking, a shadowy footstep shock Frodo’s ears. The black blood dripped from the blade and turned into smoke when it hit the ground. The wave of Baltic Sea flatted the shore of Falas.


‘O mighty Eru! It must be the first terrible thing that Hobbiton undergoes! ’Aragon shouted, ‘The Hobbits are fucking valiant as if they were hundreds of Fingon! OH my Elbereth, we are fucking turned into R18 now? Your blade is pretty awesome!  ’


‘You shall not pass! ’so he spoke ,Orcs were stopped, ‘I am the servant of the Secret Fire, master of Flame of Sun . Fuck off you silly head! The fire of Morgoth is shit to me! ’The Balorg didn’t answer. Although the fire surrounding him dimmed, the shadow became darker. It walked to the bridge. Suddenly ,BOOM!!!!!!! Its body swelled and BARM!!! The wings ruined the walls. Even so Gandalf shone in the darkness(Actually the shinning sparkle squeezed out every water of Tofu, made him become dried bean curd. )The shade was weak and got rachitis. A fire sword tore the shadow, with the breath of Gothmog. But Glamdring cut it into pieces. The debris flicked everywhere, left scars on wizard’s face. There was pale flame lighting the darkness. Wizard stood om the bridge like a iron tower.


‘You know nothing about the power! ’He roared.


‘He is not alone! ’Aragon shouted and rushed to the bridge, ‘In the name of Earendil! I am coming for you!! ’

第七棒 @看到青钰请叫她去写字/写文 

第八棒 @猩红热病的女儿 

All of a sudden, Frodo woke up from fury. The rage was so fierce that he was completely shocked.
「The Hobbit Suicide Squad!」He cried out, accidentally kicked Boromir in his knees.
He looked around, the view around him seemed far more better than before. He thought that he might as well take some pills to comfort his nerves. Among all the fire and heat, some faint footsteps crushed into Frodo's ear. Black blood streamed down the blade, some smoke rose as the blood met the ground. The waves of Baltio razed the beach of Falas.
「OMG! This must have been the most terrifying thing a hobbit have ever done!」Aragon said in a loud voice, 「Our little halfling can act as a thousand times braver as Fingon the valiant! By Elebereth! What we have done must have raised the level to R18 already!」
「YOU SHALL NOT FUCKING PASS!」He said so, and the orcs hastied, 「I am the servant of the Secret Fire, the master of the fire of Anar, you fool just step aside! Go and tell your good master Morgoth, his bloody fire was nothing more than some little sparklings to me!」
Balrog said nothing, the fire around him dimmed, but the darkness gathered and it was even darker.
He walked towards the bridge, and his body expanded suddenly. The wings shattered the walls, Gandalf was twinkling in the darkness like a little lamp twinkling at night. The shadow was weakened, the sword of fire teared the darkness apart, as well as the breath of Gothmog. However, Glamdring cut them into pieces, the pieces were glimmering everywhere, and left scars on the pretty face of the wizard who was steadily standing on the bridge like an iron tower.
「You know nothing about power!」He cried.
「He is not alone!」Aragon shouted as he rushed towards the bridge, 「In the name of Earendil, let it be war upon us both!」

第九棒 @Elenar 








第十棒 @妮涅尔·涅诺尔 

 第十一棒 @杨不找 



第 十二棒 @猴子请来的逗比da 

  Now Frodo was awaking. The fire came suddenly and violently,he was astonished about this in his heart.
  "The Hobbits' Special Force!"He roared,then kicked Jackfruit's knee suddenly.
  Frodo looked around,found he could see anything,then thought he needed to calm down by eating some pills with jujube.
  In the fire which from the wrath,he felt some muddy footsteps were in his taut nerves.Black blood dropped from the sword,and the air    became dirtier and dirtier.The Baltic  Sea's waves billowed Fallas' beach.(这段本来就很迷)
  "Oh my God!That must be a hobbit  had done the craziest thing!"Aragon said loudly."Our tiny hobbits are more courageous than Feng Gong!Ah,the Queen of stars!The thing we had done may be don't fit teenagers  now!"
  "Oh fuck!You can't pass it!"Dried Beancurd cried,Yorch stood irresolute."I'm the servant of fire,I'm from Arnor's fire!"he continued,"Get away from there!You beasts!Tell your master Morgorth,his fire is just so so——for me,it not as exciting as a 76mm howitzer."
  The Balrog didn't say anything.It seems that his body's fire would die out in silence,but shadows gathered behind him,they indeed became much gloomier.
  Dried Beancurd walked to the bridge.His body became taller suddenly,the wings made the wall collapsed.(别问我这怪怪的东西哪来的)Dried Beancurd'light which from his  head just like a flaming magnesium.Now the shadows died out,fire and sword killed the dark,just like torn it limb from limb and made it explored.The fragments fell down here and there,shone and shone.Unluckily,Dried Beancurd'handsome face was hurt.But he still stood on the bridge."You know nothing about power."he said."We can't let Dried Beancurd combat it only himself,"Aragon ran there with shout."For Middle Earth,for victory,for Earendil!Let's fight together!"(为了斯大林!)

第十三棒 @工二一 

 如今佛罗多醒了,火焰忽然熊熊燃烧起来,他的内心感到震惊!“霍比特人的原力竟然如此强大!” 他踢了一脚冰人杰克的膝盖,吼道。



“我的天啊!霍比特人原来是要干大事的!” 阿拉贡(西班牙的一个地名)大声说道,“我们的小霍比特人勇猛胜过冯巩,热度胜过郭冬临!以星辰之后之名,再这么说下去就要18X了……”

“嗷,法克!你挂科了。”干豆腐喊到。耀西则是一脸冷漠:“我乃火之仆从,生自雅诺之火!” 他接着说,“滚!你这大怪兽!告诉你的主子魔苟斯,他的火也就……一般般。至少对于我来说,还没士兵76来得爽快。”



不幸的是,干豆腐帅脸着地了,但他立刻站起来,在桥上喊道:“你对力量一无所知!” 但阿拉贡说:“别让他把功劳都抢了!” 说着,他跑到桥上大喊道:“为了中洲!为了胜利!为了埃兰迪尔!为了斯大林!战斗吧!!”

第十四棒 @Alessar 

Now that Frodo has woken up, flame bursts into blaze all of a sudden, he’s never felt so shocked. ‘Behold, the irresistible Force of Hobbit the Jedi!’ He roars and kicks Jack Frost in his knee. Frodo looks around, realizing that his eyes are lit up by the Force, everything is crystal clear as if he is the Monkey King. Thus, he makes up his mind to take a pill in order to calm down.

  Through the Flame of Rage, creepy footsteps on the muddy road make him shiver. Dark blood drops from the tip of his sword, denser and denser the air is getting. Waves of the Baltic endlessly crash on the shore of Dallas.

  ‘Oh my! The Hobbit is destined to become a legend!’ Aragon cries out, ’Oh, our little Hobbit is more valiant than Fingon the Elven King, more on fire than Gondolin the great! In name of Elentari the beloved, we are straying too far from being suitable for children…’

  ‘Oh, fuck! YOU SHALL NOT PAAAAAAASS!’ Gandalf shouts out like your Math teacher. Yoshi, however, is as cool as ice, being a chicken. ‘Go to hell Godzilla! Tell your master Morgoth that his fire is just…so so. At least not as destructive as Soldier No.76 to me.’

   Balrog doesn’t say a thing, it seems to realize how its body of fire will eventually extinguish in silence. Shadow grows and everything darkens meanwhile.

   Gandalf walks on the runway (bridge I mean…) like a supermodel, even taller he now seems, wings pushing up the ceiling, carrying a blinding halo like a magnesium lamp. The shadow backs down, the sword of fire pierce the darkness, no more place for secrets to conceal, they all shatter, just like glass.

  Unfortunately, Gandalf falls down, unwilling to show us his handsome face. But he stands up immediately and calls: ’You know nothing about my power!’ However, Aragon says:’ Spare some credit for me!’ At the same instant he speeds to the bridge with sword in his hand, yelling:’ For Middle Earth! For victory! For Earendil! For Stalin! Battle, to the last! ’

第十五棒 @言已 




Feanolfin/据说养猫的男人都是基佬 01
































·这个是旧文,发出来的原因是@周雲生 同学最近养了一只猫,成天发猫片欺负没有猫的我们也就算了,今天早上还对我抱怨这猫的淘气想要把她送走。