萨默维尔

阿尔达翻译总局中土支部搞事记录(史上最长)

今天泽拉吹费艾诺了吗:

你果然是最跳的 😂@总有zz追着我bb


今天的青钰也在咕咕咕:



🌝告诉我是不是我那里最跳




Princess Sally:







原文















Then they drank once round and became mighty merry all of a sudden. But they did not quite lose their wits. "Save us, Galion!" cried some."you begin your feasting early and muddled your wits! You have stacked some full casks here instead of the empty ones,if there is anything in weight."








"Get on with the work!" growled the butler. "There Is nothing in the feeling of weight in an idle toss-pot's arms. These are the ones to go and no others. Do as I say !"








     "Very well, very well," they answered rolling the barrels to the opening. "On your head be it, if the king's full butter-- tubs and his best wine is. pushed into the river for the Lake-men to feast on for nothing!"He woke again with a specially loud sneeze. It was already grey morning, and there was a merry".racket down by the river.








They were making up a raft of barrels, and the raft-elves would soon be steering it off down the stream to Lake-town Bilbo sneezed again. He was no longer dripping but he felt cold all over. He scrambled down as fast as his stiff legs would take him and managed just in time to get on to the mass of casks without being noticed in the general bustle. Luckily there was no sun at the time to cast an awkward shadow, and for a mercy he did not sneeze again for a good while.








     There was a mighty pushing of poles. The elves that were standing in the shallow water heaved and shoved.The barrels now all lashed together creaked and fretted.








     "This is a heavy load!"some grumbled. "They float too deep-Some of these are never empty. If they had comeashore in the daylight, we might have had a look inside," they said.








     "No time now!" cried the raftman. "Shove off!"








     And off they went at last, slowly at first, until they had passed the point of rock where other elves stood to fend them off with poles,and then quicker and quicker as hey caught the main stream and went sailing away down, down towards the Lake. 























第一棒 @Janet布丁 















 于是他们都喝了一轮,突然变得激动起来。但还没有到变成呆头的程度。“拜托,加里安!”有人大叫,“你早就开始你的节日了,现在已经快喝成呆头啦!你把满桶当空桶堆这里了,重死宝宝了。”
“乖,滚去干活啦。”总管叫到。“你们这些小懒虫手里啥都重的啦。就是这些不会错,听话。”
“好吧,好吧,”他们边回答边把木桶滚进开口。“如果国王的黄油和酒都被推到了河里,让那些河里的人有免费的美餐,到时候你就得被国王干掉了!”
他醒来的时候打了个巨大的喷嚏。已经是黎明,河边开始吵闹。精灵们把木桶整好,然后木筏精就把它们扔到河里,冲到长湖镇。比尔博又打了个喷嚏。他不再湿身,但他快冷死了。他用冻僵的小短腿尽可能快的奔跑,终于在一片混乱中混上了木筏,没有被发现。幸运的是,这时候太阳公公还没起床,所以他不会拥有一道尴尬的影子,上帝同情他,让他好一会儿不打喷嚏。
精灵们有的在用长篙撑着,有的推着想要让木筏离开岸边。站在浅水里的精灵又拉又拖。木桶现在都绑在一起,互相摩擦摩擦。
“这木筏真tm重啊!”有精抱怨到,“它们沉的太深了——有些肯定不是空的,或许有些奇怪的东西在里面,比如脏兮兮的矮人。如果白天漂来,我们或许还能看看里面有啥,”他们说。
“现在没时间了!”撑篙的叫到。“推!”
木筏终于漂离了,一开始慢慢地,直到它们来到那块大大的石头旁,那里的精用长竿把木筏推开,然后它进入了主航道,越来越快,漂向那遥远的长湖镇。























第二棒 @リンギル 















So they all had a round of drinks and suddenly became excited. But they hadn’t reached the point of being アホウ. "Come on, Galion!" Someone shouted, "you have already started your holiday, and now you are having too much! You piled up the full buckets here as if they were empty, they’re really too 太った."
“Behave yourself and go to work." The manager calls. “Everything’s too heavy for you little slackers. That’s it, nothing wrong. Be good.”
"All right, all right," they pushed the barrel into the opening while answering. "If the King's butter and wine are pushed into the river, letting those people in the river have a free meal, then you’ll be fucked by the King!”
He woke up with a huge sneeze. It's dawn, and it started being noisy on the riverbank. The elves organized the barrel, and the spirits of raft threw them into the river and rushed to the Lake-town. Bilbo sneezed again. He was no longer wet, but was freezing. He ran as fast as he could with his frozen little legs, and finally got on the raft in chaos and without being spotted. Luckily, the sungonggong had not risen yet, so he wouldn’t have himself followed by an embarrassing shadow, and Eru PaPa sympathized with him so he didn’t sneeze for a while.
Some of the elves are holding up with long poles, and some are pushing to get the rafts off the shore. The elves standing in the shallow water dragged and dragged. Buckets are now tied together, rubbing against each other.
"This raft is really fucking heavy!" An elf complained, "they rides very low - some are definitely not empty, maybe there're something weird inside, dirty dwarfs maybe. If they come during the daytime, we may be able to see what's inside, "they said.
“We’re out of time now!" The poling one shouted. “Push!"
The raft finally drifted away, slowly at first, until they came alongside that big stone, where the semen pushed the raft off with a long pole. Then it entered the main channel, becoming faster and faster, drifting to the faraway Lake-town.























第三棒 @泽拉大魔王 















  于是他们每个人都喝了一杯,突然变得兴奋起来,但还完全没有飘飘然到失了智的地步。“来吧!加理安!”有人喊了起来,“你的假期已经拉开序幕了,你现在吃太多了,你把装满酒的桶堆在这儿,仿佛它们都是空的,它们真是太乱啦!”
        “规矩点,小伙子,快点去干活!”管事喊道,“对于你们这些懒家伙来说,啥玩意儿都是重的。对,就是这样,没毛病,好极了!”
        “行吧行吧。”他们一边推桶一边回答,“要是国王的黄油和美酒被推进河里,成为河中居民的免费午餐,那么你迟早会被国王按在地上摩擦!”
        他醒来时打了个大喷嚏。天光大亮,河岸上开始吵闹起来,精灵们把木桶堆在一起,用筏子把它们丢进河里,冰冷的河水把它们冲向河谷镇。比尔博又打了一个喷嚏,他不再是湿漉漉的,而感到十分寒冷。他用他几乎冻结的小腿没命地跑,尽可能地快。最后于一片混乱中趴在了筏子上,没被任何人发现。谢天谢地,太阳还没有上天,所以他身后不会跟着一个尴尬的影子。显而易见,一如爸爸很照顾他,所以接下来他没有接着打喷嚏。
        一些精灵撑着长长的杆子,另一些正推着筏子离开岸边。那些站在浅水里的精灵拖拽着。木桶现在被绑在一起,互相摩擦。
        “这只筏子可真他妈重!”一个精灵抱怨说,“它们压得很低——有些绝不是空的,也许里面有一些奇怪的东西,也许是肮脏的矮人。”“如果它们早上来的话,我们就能打开看看里头到底有嘛玩意儿。”他们说。
        “我们现在没时间了!”另一个喊道,“快推!”
        木筏终于慢慢地漂走了,直到他们来到那块巨石旁边,精灵们把一根长杆推到木筏上。然后,它进入主渠道,越来越快,漂流到遥远的河谷镇。























第四棒 @Alessar 















Thus, each of them has a cup and soon enough, becomes excited. Luckily, however, they are still awake, not heady and euphoric. ‘Come on, Galion!’ somebody shouts, ‘Here comes your holiday! You have eaten too much now and you leave all these buckets of wine here as if they are all empty—they are far too messy!’
















  ‘Be obedient young boy, go back to work!’ the elf in command shouts back, ‘For lazy bones of your kind, everything is heavy. Ay, keep going, you’re doing fine!’
















  ‘As you wish, sire.’ They mumble as they roll the buckets, ‘sf the sweet wine and fine butter of our king is thrown into the river and later becomes free lunch of the dwellers, you will get f**ked right here on the floor sooner or later!’
















  He sneezes as he wakes up. The day has already shone. The river band is now clamorous—elves stack the buckets and throw them into the river on a raft icy water will then drift them to Lake Town. Bilbo sneezes again, he’ s not wet but freezing. He runs as fast as possible with his almost frozen legs and eventually grovels on the raft in the chaos without being seen. Thank Eru, the sun is not high above so there won’t be any embarrassing shadow that follows. Clear enough, Eru is truly in his favor, later Bilbo doesn’t sneeze.
















  Some elves row the boat with long rod and others push it as it leaves the river bank. Buckets are now tied together, rubbing.
















  ‘The raft is so dam heavy!’ one of the elves standing in shallow water who is dragging the raft complains, ‘It’s definitely not empty, see how deep the draught. Something must be inside, like ragged dwarves.’ ‘If it comes in the early morning, we may open up and see what’s inside.’ They say.
















  ‘But now we are running out of time.’ Another yells, ‘Push! Now!’
















  Finally the raft drifts away slowly. Until it gets close to a huge rock and elves push it with rod does the raft enter the main channel. It flows faster and faster to Lake Town far away.























第五棒 @Nierninwa 















 因此他们各自喝了一杯酒,很快就亢奋起来。然而他们依旧清醒,还没有醉得飘飘欲仙。“快点,加里安!”有人喊道,“你该开始干活了!你倒是吃饱了,却把这些酒桶像空桶似的晾在一边,乱糟糟的!”
“遵守命令,年轻人,回去工作!”负责指挥的精灵喊了回去,“你们这样的懒虫,做什么都觉得辛苦。好,继续,你们做的不错!”
“我们会的,大人。”他们边嘟哝边推动酒桶,“如果我们国王的美酒和上等黄油被扔进河里,成为居民们的免费美餐,你早晚都会在这里的地板上被狠狠地操!”
他醒时打了个喷嚏,已经是阳光闪耀的时候了。河岸边十分喧嚷—精灵们把桶堆起来装上木筏,冰冷的河水会把它们送到长湖镇。比尔博又打了个喷嚏,他没有沾湿,但觉得寒冷彻骨。他迈开冻僵的腿尽力奔跑,最后在混乱中爬上了一艘木筏而没被发现。感谢一如,太阳还没有升得那么高以至于使他投下鬼鬼祟祟的影子。而且他明显地受一如眷顾,过一会儿便不再打喷嚏了。
一些精灵用长杆划船,另一些把船推离了河岸。木桶已经被绑在一起,相互碰蹭着。
“这船太他妈沉了!”一个站在浅水中拖拽木筏的精灵抱怨道,“它肯定不是空的,看看这吃水多深。里面肯定有什么东西,比如惨兮兮的矮人。”“如果它们早晨早点到的话,我们就能打开看看里面是什么。”他们说道。
“但现在我们没时间了。”另一个喊道,“快,推!”
木筏最终缓缓漂走了。它接近一块巨石时,精灵用杆子把它推向了主河道。它向着远方的长湖镇,漂得越来越快。























第六棒@周云生















"We will, sir. " "If our king's wine and butter are thrown into the river to become the free food of the residents, you will be harshly fuck on the floor here sooner or later," they grunt. When he woke up, he sneezed, and it was time for the sun to shine. The river banks are very noisy. The elves heaped up the barrels and installed the rafts, and the icy river would send them to the town of Chang Hu. Bill had sneezed again. He was not wet, but he felt chilled to the bone. He ran away with his frozen legs, and finally climbed into a raft without confusion. Thank you, as the sun has not risen so high that he has cast a sneaky shadow. Moreover, he was obviously as well liked, and he would not sneeze for a while. Some elves rowed with long poles while others pushed the boat off the river bank. The buckets were tied together and rubbed with each other. "This ship is too damn!" A wizard who dragged a raft in shallow water complained, "it's definitely not empty. Let's see how deep the draft is. There must be something in it, such as a miserable dwarf. "If they arrive early in the morning, we can open up and see what's inside." They said. "But now we have no time." The other yelled, "fast, push!" The raft finally drifted away. When it approached a huge stone, the elf pushed it to the main river with a pole. It floats faster and farther towards the long lake town.























第七棒 甩莉















旁白:矮人们每个人都喝了精灵的琼浆,然后在欲火中涅槃,进入了极乐净土。就在他们在极乐净土狂欢的时候,精灵进来了。








精灵A(风情万种地微笑):来啊加里安先生!现在轮到您了!您一定是不能再满足了,但是酒杯还有剩吶!瞧瞧您,弄得这里一团糟。








指挥(皱眉大吼):听话年轻人!这个小姑娘坏得很,懒惰!








(指挥严肃地拍了拍手想要引起其他精灵的注意。)








加里安(不耐烦):啊~我们会好好干活的,先生!








(加里安醉醺醺地勾住指挥的脖子,却被指挥一把甩开。)








精灵A(小声BB):若是国王的美酒和黄油被丢进河里给那些渣滓当了免费午餐,您迟早会被国王按在地上摩擦的。








(指挥当然听见了精灵A的抱怨,他严肃地瞪了他一眼,指了指自己的耳朵表示自己听得见。)








比尔博(迷茫地睁开双眼):阿嚏——啊……怎么了?








(这个时候太阳已经升起来了,河岸传来了嘈杂的声响,仿佛有一群吟游诗人在那里开音乐趴)








比尔博(自言自语):哦!快看那些精灵!他们正在把那些木桶搬到小船上去!这冰冷的河水会将它们带到长福镇上去!快,比尔博!得趁他们不注意跟上去!








(尽管没有被河水弄湿,但是比尔博仍然觉得寒气透骨。精灵们仍然在一边打闹一边干活,丝毫没有注意到有一个小霍比特人溜进了船里。)








比尔博(捏了捏鼻子):赞美太阳!我不再打喷嚏了!








(这个时候精灵们开始拉着绳子将船拉上岸,他们把木桶绑在一起。)








加里安(生气):该死!这艘船真操蛋!我敢拿国王陛下的王冠打赌这桶绝对不是空的!猜猜看要是我们打开盖子会发现什么?








精灵A(大笑):一个惨兮兮的矮人?哈哈哈哈哈哈








(精灵A凑过去,准备要打开酒桶的盖子。比尔博的心一下子提到了嗓子眼。)








指挥(严肃):现在已经来不及检查了!快!用力推!








(小船被推进了密林河的主河道,很快就顺着水流向着长福镇的方向漂去。)








比尔博(如释重负地拍胸口):妈耶,吓死我了!























第八棒 @希望变得勤奋的哲 















(Every dwarf drank the Elf’s wine and they were reborn in desire. Then they enter the GokuRakuJoudo. As they were entertaining themselves in Gokurakujoudo, the elves came.)








Elf A (smiling charmingly): Come! Master Galion! Now is your turn! You can’t be more satisfied, but there was some wine in the glass! Look at yourself! You are making a mess here.








Conductor (frowned and yelled): Obey the order, young man! This young little girl is badly behaved, and LAZY!!








(Conductor clapped his hands solemnly wanting to draw other elves’ attention)








Galion(annoyed): AHHHHHHHHHH! We will do our job perfectly, sir!








(The drunken Galion put his hands around the Conductor’s neck, but he was immediately thrown away)








Elf A(BB silently) If the King’s butter and wine are thrown into the river by mistake and are taken by those scums for free lunch, sooner or later, the King will sweep you with the floor.








(Obviously the conductor had heard the complaints of Elf A. He glared at Elf A, pointing his ear to say that he knew exactly what the Elf is talking.)








Bilbo(Open his eyes in confusion): AHhhhhh(sneeze)…whaaaaaaat is going on?








(At this time the sun had risen from the horizon. Noise came from the river bank as if there were a group of minstrels having a concert.)








Bilbo(Speak to himself) Oh! Look at those elves, they are carrying the barrels to the boats. Cold water will finally bring the barrels to the Happiness Town! Quick, Bilbo! Keep up with them before they notice you!








(Though not getting wet by the water, Bilbo still felt the bitter cold air everywhere. The elves were still playing while working, thus no one noticed that a Hobbit had successfully sneaked into their boat.)








Bilbo(squeezed his nose): Praise the sun! Finally I don’t sneeze anymore!








(Elves started to pull the boat from the water and tied the barrels together.)








Galion(Angry): Damn it! This boat is fu*king heavy! By the King’s crown, I dare to swear that it is definitely not empty! Guess what will we find if we open the barrel!








Elf A (Laugh): A silly, poor dwarf? Hhhhhhhhhh








(Elf A leaned near and was about to open the barrel. Bilbo’s heart had nearly jumped out of his chest.)








Conductor(Seriously): Now we don’t have time for checking! Be quick! Push hard!








(The boat was soon be pushed into the mainstream of Mirkwood river, quickly flowed towards Happiness Town.)








Bilbo( Put his hand over his chest with relief): That was fu*king scary!!!!!























第九棒 @看到青钰请叫她去写字/写文 















 (矮人们都痛饮了精灵的美酒,在渴求中获得了新生,仿佛进入了极乐净土。而当他们在这虚幻的净土中享受欢愉时,精灵们到来了)
精灵A(迷人地微笑着):来啊加里安大人!现在轮到你啦,让我们快活啊!酒杯里还有酒,你肯定会炒——鸡满意哒!看看你,你正把这儿neng得一团糟呐。
管理员(皱着眉高呼):年轻人放规矩点!这小姑娘表现真差劲,而且还巨特么懒!
(管理员严肃地拍了拍手,以吸引其他精的注意力)
加里安(烦躁地):老大你知道我们有多努力嘛啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊!!!
(喝醉了的加里安把自己挂在了管理员的脖子上,但他很快就被甩到一边儿去了)
精灵A(小声逼逼.jpg):如果大王的奶酪和酒被你们不小心丢河里被那群蛀虫白吃了的话,大王肯定会把你们扫(kai)地(chu)出(fen)门(ji)的哦。
(然而精灵A的小声逼逼还是被管理员听到了,管理员指了指耳朵,表示他并不聋完全听得到你们在逼逼什么)
比尔博(疑惑地睁大了眼睛):emmmmmmm他们到底在搞毛?
(就在此时,太阳从地平线上升起来了,河岸处穿来嘈杂的声音,宛如一打正在开嗓练声的二梅)
比尔博(自言自语):哎呀,看看这群精,他们正在往船上运酒桶呢!水流会把这些酒桶送到快乐镇的。快点比尔博,在这群小聋瞎发现你之前跟上去!
(尽管没被水打湿,比尔博也能感受到周围寒冷的空气,精灵们正边摸鱼边干活,没人注意到一个小霍比特人溜上了他们的船)
比尔博(捏了捏鼻子):赞美太阳!我终于不打喷嚏了!
(精灵们开始把船推入水中,并把酒桶系在了一起)
加里安(气鼓鼓):可真是见了蘑菇丝了,这船怎么沉成这*样了啊!我敢拿我们大王脑袋上的树杈子发誓这里面绝对不是空的!你说我们要是打开这些酒桶会发现啥?
精灵A(笑):一个傻兮兮的矮人?哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈——
(精灵A倾斜过身子,就要打开酒桶了,比尔博可怜的小心脏快跳出嗓子眼了)
管理员(严肃地):我们没时间检查了!痛快点用力气推!
(船很快就被推进了密林河的主流中,轻快地飘向快乐镇)
比尔博(放松,作以手抚心状):这也太他*的吓人了吧!!!!!







































第十棒 @The Gray Dawn 















 (The dwarves all drank the elvish wine exultantly, and in their thirst they felt renewed as if they had entered Aman. But when they were enjoying themselves in this unreal land, the elves came.)

Elf A: (smiling charmingly) Come on, Lord Galion! Now it's your turn to cheer us up! There's still wine in the glass, and you'll surely be satisfied, as satisfied as fried chicken! Look at yourself. You're making a mess here.

Administrator: (shouting while frowning) Behave yourselves, elfins! What a poor little girl, and how TM lazy she is!

(The administrator clapped his hands seriously to draw the attention of the other elves.)

Galion: (impatiently) Big Brother, do you know how hard we worked??????!

(The drunk Galion hung himself around the administrator's neck, but he was soon pushed aside.)

Elf A: (BB in a low voice. JPG) If the King's cheeses and wine are accidentally thrown to the river and eaten by the group of moths for free, you will certainly be swept out like rubbish — and never be qualified to be his fans again.

(However, the quiet BB of Elf A was still heard by the administrator, who pointed to his ears to show that he was not deaf and could completely hear what they were BBing.)

Bilbo: (opening his eyes wide, feeling puzzled) Emmmmmmm, what fur are they doing in deed?

(这里一开始机翻是are they having sex?Σ( ° △ °|||)︴没想到你是这样的有道词典)

(然而我翻译到这里的时候控制不住自己地联想到了外号毛毛的芬威……)

(Just then, the sun rose above the horizon, and there was a noise from the bank, like a dozen Maglors practicing their voices.)

因为开了跨软件查词所以当我复制这个段落的时候有道词典自动翻译了它:

(就在这时,太阳升到地平线上,岸上传来一声巨响,好像有十几只蛆虫在练习它们的声音。)

……有道你究竟对二梅有什么误解_(:зゝ∠)_

Bilbo: (to himself) Oh, look at the elves, they're carrying barrels to the boat! The water will carry these barrels to Happy Town. Come on Bilbo, follow these deaf and blind crawfish before they know it!

(Even though he was not wet by the water, Bilbo could feel the cold air around. The elves were working while stroking the fish, and no one noticed a little hobbit slipping into their boat.)

Bilbo: (pinching his nose) Praise the sun! I finally stopped sneezing!

(The elves began to push the boat into the water and tie the barrels together.)

Galion: (in a huff) What the Morgoth, how did this boat become so *** heavy? I can swear by the branches on our King's head that these are not empty! What do you think we'll find if we open these barrels?

Elf A: (laughing) A silly dwarf? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ~

(Elf A leaned over and was about to open the barrel. Bilbo's poor little heart was about to jump out of his throat.)

Administrator: (seriously) We don't have time to check! Give it a good shove!

(The boat was soon pushed into the main stream of Mirkwood River, drifting briskly toward Happy Town.)

Bilbo: (placed a hand on his heart in relief) That's too f[harmony]ing scary!!!!















吐槽太可爱了于是就一起放上来了
















第十一棒 @welleran 















(矮人们全都满怀欣喜地喝下精灵的酒,他们在畅饮中感到重焕新生,仿佛他们已经踏入神国。但是正当他们在迷幻之境中尽享欢乐时,精灵们来了。)








精灵A:(露出迷人的微笑)来啊,加里安大人!现在轮到你来为我们助兴了!杯子里还有酒呢,你一定会特别嗨,扔进油锅里的鸡都不会比你更嗨!看看你自己!你正在把这儿搞得一团糟。








管理员:(皱着眉喊叫)注意言行,小妖精们!她可真是个我见犹怜的小丫头,而且她也太特么懒了!








(管理员严肃地拍着手试图吸引其他精灵的注意)








加里安:(不耐烦地)大兄弟,你造不造,我们都累成狗了?!








(醉熏熏的加里安把自己挂在管理员的脖子上,但是他很快被推到一边)








精灵A:(小声BB.JPG)如果大王的奶酪和酒被不小心扔进了河里,被一群无赖白白吃了,你准会像垃圾一样被扫地出门——而且永远别再想当他的粉丝。








(然而,精灵A 悄没声儿的BB还是被管理员听见了,他指着自己的耳朵以示他不聋,完全能听清他们正在BB什么)








比尔伯:(张大眼睛,倍感困惑)呃——,他们到底搞毛啊?








(就在刚刚,太阳跃上地平线,岸上传来一阵闹声,就像一打梅格洛尔正在练嗓。)








比尔博:(自言自语)喔,看看那些精灵,他们正在把酒桶装上船!水流会把这些桶送到欢乐谷。上吧比尔博,在他们发现之前,跟上这伙又聋又瞎的克氏原螯虾!








(即便他一点水也没沾,比尔博却能感受到环绕身边的冷空气。精灵们一边工作一边安抚鱼群,没人注意到一只小小的霍比特人溜进了他们的船舱。)








比尔博:(挖鼻孔)礼赞太阳神!我可算是不打喷嚏了!








(精灵们开始将船推进水里,并将木桶紧紧绑在一起。)








加里安:(怒气冲冲)看在蘑菇丝的份儿上,这该死的船咋会变得这么沉?我以我们大王头上的树杈子发誓,这些桶不可能是空的!你猜我们把这些桶打开会发现什么?








精灵A(笑出声):一个傻冒矮人?哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈~








(精灵A靠过去准备打开木桶。比尔博那可怜的小心心都快从喉咙里蹦出来了。)








管理员:(一本正经)我们哪还有时间检查!快点儿把它推上来!








(船很快被推进了黑林之河的主流中,轻快地航向欢乐谷。)








比尔博:(以手抚心,松了口气)这太他妈刺激了!!!































第十二棒 @Riverrun 















The dwarves they drank all of the wine from the elves with joy, and felt themselves almost reborned from the honey-like liquid. As their mind wandered to the fairyland, the woodelves came. 
An elf yelled: 'Master Galion, come on! It's your turn now. Join us, and let us havefun! 'His cheeks blushed for alcohol. 
The sheriff looked a bit mad, 'Watch your words, pixie! You guys are passionate, but too lazy. 'He clapped his hands to draw others' attention. 
'Did you know that this dumbass job has already wiped us out? 'With this Galion stood up and put his arm around the sheriff's waist, and grinned. Although he was pushed aside.
The other elf whispered, 'if our king knows that his cheese and vintages were tossed in the stream, eaten by a bunch of jerks, we will be in great trouble...and we will never be able to praise him! 'Yet the sheriff heard him, he pointed his ear to mention the elf his audition was still exellent. 
Bilbo kept his eyes wide open, 'What the hell are they doing? 'The sun just rose, from the shore came a burst of noises, almost as loud as Maedhros roaring to his six younger brothers. 
Bilbo whispered to himself, 'O, look at those elves, they are loading these barrels to the rafts. The stream will take them to the fairyland! Go, Bilbo, go! Keep up with these deaf Brains of Cthulhu! 'He could feel the chiling air, even that he did not actually get into the river. The elves were trying to appease the fishes, no one noticed the hobbit who sneaked into their cabin. 
He thought to himself, 'Praise to Azura! I no longer have to be irritated by sneezes! '
The elves pushed the tied rafts away from the shore. 
Galion yelled: 'In the name of Morgoth, how comes these foolish rafts be so heavy? I swear to my king's crown, these barrels can't be empty. I say we open them and see what's inside. '































第十三棒 @Anorcuron















矮人们愉快地喝光了精灵酿的酒,觉得自己好似从这蜜一般的液体中重生了。他们正飘飘然时,木精灵们来了。








一个精灵高叫道:“加里安大人,来吧!轮到你啦!和我们一起找点乐♂子♂吧!”他的脸颊因酒精而泛红。








长官看起来有点生气,“注意点你的言辞,小鬼头!你们这些家伙感情是很热烈,可是太懒啦。”他拍了拍手,好把其他精的注意力吸引过来。








“你知道这蠢工作已经快搞(giǎo)死我们了吗?”说着,加里安咧嘴笑了,他站起来,把胳臂环上长官的腰——尽管他被推开了。








另一个精灵低语道:“我们的王要是知道了他的奶酪和佳酿被扔在水里,叫一堆怪家伙消灭,我们可就有大麻烦了…我们就再也没机会歌颂他了!”可是长官听见了他说的话,指了指自己的耳朵提醒那精灵自己的听力依旧敏锐。








比尔博努力把眼睛睁大,“他们在搞什么鬼?”太阳刚升起来,岸边传来一阵喧闹,简直就和梅斯罗斯向他六个弟弟咆哮时的声音一样。








比尔博自言自语道:“哦,看,那些精灵正把桶子装上木筏。水流将把它们带到精灵的乐园!去吧,比尔博,去吧!跟着那些聋了的克苏鲁之脑!”虽然他没有真的到河里去,他仍能感觉到那冷风。精灵们正努力安抚被惊扰的鱼儿们,没人注意到溜进船舱的霍比特人。








他想,“感谢阿祖拉!我再不用被喷嚏烦扰了!”








精灵们把捆好的筏子推离河岸。








加里安叫道:“魔苟斯呀,这些笨筏子咋能这么沉?向王的冠冕发誓,咱们还是打开瞅瞅里头是啥吧。”































第十四棒 @猴子请来的逗比 















The dwarves drank all the elf's beer happily,and thought that they came from those honey liquor.

One of the evles said:"Monsignor Callian,come on!It is your round!Let's playus die?"Then Callian smiled,and standed off,put his arm on the Commander's waist---though he was refused.

The other one said in a low voice:"If our king know that his chess and beer was thrown into the water,and let some uncanny things to make it disappear,we will go in to trouble...We won't have chance to eulogize him any more!"But when the Commander heared what he had said,and then shook his ears as if he was a radar to warn that his ears still can use.

Bilbo was astonished ,"WTF?What are they doing?"The sun rose just now,and some noise was made from the bands,as loud as his screech.

He told to himself:"Oh,look,those evles were putting some barrels on the raft.Rivers will bring them to evles' paradies.Go there,Bilbo,go!Go with these little bourgeoisie!"Although he didn't jump into the river,he still flet cold wind.The evles were trying to make fish clamed down,and no one pay a attention to this hobbit who ran into cabin.

He thought,"Thanks for Saint-Stalin!I'm free from sneezing any more!"

The elves pushed the raft away from band.Gallian said,"Oh,boys!Why this raft is so heavy?I make a flag,we'd better to open and check it."























第十五棒 @Elenar 















 矮人们开开心心地喝完了精灵的啤酒,还以为它们和那些蜂蜜酒一样。

一个精灵说:“来,加理安阁下!到你了!我们一起来玩吧!”他的脸因酒精而绯红。

指挥官看上去有些生气:“注意你的言辞,傲慢的傻子!你的心热情似火,但你太懒了!”他拍拍手,试图引起其他人的注意。

“搞得好像这份蠢工作能让我们死掉似的。”加理安笑着,把手环在指挥官腰间,尽管对方是拒绝的。

另一个人低声说:“如果王知道他的棋子和酒被扔进水里,并且被某些神秘物种搞消失了的话,我们就完蛋了……我们甚至都不会再有机会歌颂他了!”指挥官听见了他的话,像个雷达似的抖了抖他的耳朵,以此来提醒这个人他的耳朵还好使。

比尔博一脸懵逼:“神特么??他们在搞什么?”太阳刚刚升起,那帮人发出的声音和他的尖叫声一样大。

他对自己说:“看吧,这些精灵正在把桶放上船,河水会把它们带到精灵的打油诗中。跟着去吧,比尔博!和那些有钱人一起去!”尽管他没跳进河里,他还是感到冷风飕飕的吹。精灵们正忙着安顿鱼群,没人注意到有个小霍比特跑进了船舱。

他想着:“感谢斯大林!我现在再也不会打喷嚏了。”

精灵们把船从人群边推开。加理安说道:“啊哦,老哥!这船怎么这么重啊?我立个flag,我们得打开船舱再查一下。”
























第十六棒 @杨不找(Élast) 















The dwarfs drank elves beer happily, just thought they were like those honey wine.

An elf said,"Come on, Galion Your Excellency! It's your turn! Let's vangame together!"His face were like monkey's buttocks because of alcohol.

The commander looked like a little angry,"Pay attention to your manner of speaking, arrogant fool! Your heart is hot like fire, but you are too lazy!" He clapped his hands, trying catching others' attention.

“Just like this stupid job will make us lose our lives.”Galion smiled, then put a bracelet on the commander's waist, though he was resisted.

Other elf murmured,"If our king knows that his chess and wine were thrown into water, and disappeared because of some mysterious mcreatures, we are not far from dying…We'll even lose the chance to extol him!" The commander heard his words, shaking his ears like radar, to prove that his audition was still good.

Bilbo was stunned," What the hell! What are they fucking doing!" The sun had just risen, the crowd made as loud a noise as his screams.

He spoke to himself," Don't believe me just watch, elves are loading barrels onto the ship, and rivers will take them into the doggerels of elves'. Follow them up, Bilbo! Go with those tuhao!" Although he didn't dive into the river, he felt the cold wind blowing as well. Elves were busy finding a place for fishes, thus no one noticed that a little hobbit ran into the cabin.

He thought,"Thanks to Stalin! Now I'll never kerchoo any more!"

The elves pushed the ship away from the crowd. "Oops, bro," said Galion. "Why is this ship so heavy? I'll set up a flag, and we have to open the cabin and look it up again. "































第十七棒 @仲夏之雪 















矮人兴高采烈地喝着精灵的酒,因为它们喝上去就像蜂蜜甜酒一样。一个精灵说:“来啊,我的陛下,该你了!我们一起玩咳咳咳(此处省略)游戏吧!”他的脸因酒精而像阿纳一样红。
















指挥官有点愠怒,“注意你的言辞,傲慢如图林的傻瓜!你的心像奥阔泷迪的火一样热,但你就和维拉们一样懒(预备进小黑屋了)!”他又叫又跳又鼓掌,试图引起注意。
















“正是这种愚蠢的工作会使我们丧命。”加利恩微笑着,递给指挥官一个嵌着珠宝的手镯,尽管他被拒绝了。
















另一个精灵咂咂嘴,喃喃自语“如果我们尊贵的国王知道他心爱的棋和酒被扔进了水里,并因一些未知生物而消失……我们离曼督斯也不远了,还会失去赞美我们国王的机会!啊!!!我们国王真好看!!!”指挥官听到了这些话,像隔壁片场的多比一样摇着头,试图证明着他的耳朵没坏。
















比尔博惊呆了“一如啊!他们在干什么像魔苟斯一样的坏事啊!”此时阿纳初升,人群的喧嚷声压过了他的喊叫。
















他自言自语:“不要相信我刚才看见的,精灵把桶扔进河里,跟着他们!跟着这些土豪(?)!虽然他没有跳河,但他仍在寒风中瑟瑟发抖。精灵们忙于寻找有鱼的地方,以致于没看见一个霍比特人跑进了小屋。
















他想“:感谢国家感谢党!现在我再也不想来一遍了!”
















精灵们把船推出人群。“啊,兄弟,”加利恩说,这船为什么这么重?我要开舱门再看一遍。”































第十八棒 @Rilelen 















The dwarves drank wine from the elves because it drank like honey and sweet wine. An elf said, “Come on, your majesty, it's your turn! Let's play some interesting (we all know what they are)games.” His face was as red as Anar because of alcohol.
The commander was a little angry.“Pay attention to your words, arrogant as Turin's fool! Your heart is as hot as the fire of Alqualondë, but you are as lazy as Valar(ready to enter Mandos)!" He jumped and applauded, trying to attract attention.
"It is this foolish work that will kill us." Gallion smiled and handed the commander a jewelry bracelet, though he was turned down.
Another elf smacking his mouth and murmur, "If our noble king knows that his beloved chess and wine are thrown into the water and disappear with some unknown creatures... We are not far away from Mandos, and we will lose the opportunity to praise our king. Ah!!! Our king is so pretty that nearly everybody falls in love with him!!! " The commander heard these words and shook his head like Dobby in the next scene, trying to prove that his ears were not bad.
Bilbo was stunned. “Eru Ilúvatar!Why they behave like Morgoth? " At this time Anar rose, and the crowd clamored over his cries.
He said to himself, “don't believe what I saw just now. The elves threw the bucket into the river and followed them. Follow these tyrants (?)! "Though he did not jump the river, he still shivered in the cold wind. The elves were busy looking for fish, so that no one could see a hobbit running into the hut. 
He thought, "thanks to the national and the party!  " Now I don't want to come again! " 
The elves pushed the boat out of the crowd. "Ah, brother," Gallion said, "Why is the boat so heavy? I'll open the hatch and see it again. "























第十九棒@咱们诺多精绝不认输























矮人和精灵一起坐那里喝葡萄酒,因为它美味地仿佛是在喝着蜂蜜和甜酒。一个精灵说:“来来来,陛下,轮到你了!”让我们玩一些给里给气的游戏(我们都知道它们是什么)。








指挥官有点生气。“注意你的言辞,傲慢的都灵蠢货!你的心和阿尔卡朗德的火焰一样炽热,但你和维拉一样懒惰(准备进入曼都斯!)他猛地跳起来鼓掌,试图引起大家的注意。








“这些蠢到极致的工作会搞死我们的。”加里安微笑着递给指挥官一个缀满珠宝的手镯,虽然他碰了个软钉子。








另一个精灵咂咂嘴说:“如果我们高贵的国王知道他心爱的黄油和葡萄酒被扔进河里,消失在一些未开化的动物身上……我们就会在曼督斯附近徘徊,我们的口舌将失去赞美国王的机会。啊!!!!我们的国王的容颜如此精致,真是太太太漂亮了,我们几乎每个人都爱上了他!!指挥官听到了这些话,在下一秒立刻像多比一样摇了摇头,试图证明他的耳朵没有出毛病。








比尔博惊呆了。“我勒个妈耶!他们为什么表现得像摩戈?”这时,阿纳尔站起身来,人群大声叫嚷着。








他自言自语地说,“不要相信我刚才看到的。精灵们把木桶扔进河里,跟着他们。跟随这些暴君(?)“虽然他没有跳过冰河,他仍然在寒风中颤抖。精灵们在忙着找鱼,所以没人能看到一个霍比特人跑进小屋。








他想:“感谢国家和伟大的党!“不过现在我可不想再来一回了!”








精灵们把小船从人群中挤了出来。“啊,兄弟,”加里安说,“为什么船这么重?”我要打开舱门再看一遍。”























第二十棒 @工二一 















Of Elves and Dwarves.

They sit and sip the serum sweet, 
For it beats the best beer brew breed. 

Then says an elf, 
“Come, my liege, thy turn forth came.
For we shall play some jolly golly gay game.”

There mads and claps a lord,
“Mind, fool of a Doorin, thy word. 
For thy heart heats like the hot Hokkaido,
Yet void like the Valar in Valinor. 
PREPARE TO ENTER THE HALLS OF MANDOS! ”

Then Galion chuckles and tackles with a wristlet crystal,
“These lame work will lay waste to us.” 

Another elf chews his food, 
“If our king mighty knew that his light butter and high wine got casted into the bright river, it would be such a blight that we would be on a flight to Mandos nigh.

Nought shall the glory we brought to our lord. He is sooooooooo pretty that we love him!! Yeah!! All hail the king!! We love him!!! Yeah yeah yeah!!! 

The commander (where did he come from?) listens and shakes his head like Adobe (dou bi), trying to hear if this has been edited by Premiere or After Effect. 

Bilbo is aghast, 
“I choked a mother yeah! Why are they acting like Mushrooms?”

Then, Anar the sun goddess stood up, and the world darkens. 
“Cannot believe what I just saw. Elves tossing barrows into the river. Follow them. Follow these crazy nuts. Though he decided to leap over the tarn, he still shivered.” 

The elves were busy looking for fish, sharks, whales, eels, jellyfish, manta rays, dolphins, Chondrichthyes, and Osteichthyes. So no one went into the Hobbito sapien’s home. And he yells, “Praise the Party and thank the Valar!” But I don’t want to see that again. 

The elves, again, squeeze the human out of the boat, if there are any. “Ah bro, why is this so heavy? I’m going to look into the cabin again.” Says Galion. 























第二十一棒 @妮涅尔·涅诺尔 















 是精灵和矮人的。
            他们围做在一起,小口呡着加糖血清,为了它有规律的敲击最好的啤酒,图谋繁殖。然后,一个精灵说:“来吧,我受臣服的领主。第四次轮到你来玩一些令人愉悦,惊叹的同性恋游戏了。”
             那里有一个疯子和拍手的领主:“理智,一个门里的愚人,你的世界。”因为你的心脏发热,像加热的北海道啤酒。然而,声音像是在维林诺的维拉「准备去曼督斯的殿堂吧!」
            然后加里安痴痴笑着,用一个水晶手镯工具说∶“这个古董会对我们说垃圾谎话。”
              另外一个精灵思考着他的食物∶如果我们的王大概知道了他的轻黄油和高度红酒被扔到了河流,我们做飞机去曼督斯的前程就会十分明朗。
             没什么,我们已经把所有荣耀带给了我们的主。他是如此这般这等这样的极其美丽,我们因此而为他着迷。噫!好!所有人都欢迎那王!我们爱他啊!妙啊!真妙,妙极了!
           那位高级骑士(从哪冒出来的?)听到赞美,并且使劲摇头,就像一个家养小精灵那样。是着听出这是被哪个女主角校订过的,还是在努力影响下产生的。
                 比尔博表示反对∶“我煞了个妈耶,为什么他们表现的像一群蘑菇。”
                然后,太阳女神阿诺尔站了起来,世界变黑了。“简直不敢相信我刚刚看到了什么。精灵们把阉猪扔进河里。跟着他们,跟着这些疯狂的混蛋,即使他决定飞跃山中小湖,他仍在颤抖。”
                 那些精灵忙着找鱼,鲨鱼,杀手鲸,鳗鱼,海蜇,蝠鲼,鳐鱼,海豚,各种软骨鱼,硬骨鱼所以,没有人进入了霍比特人贤明的家。然后他大叫道∶“赞美我们伟大的中国人民共产党,感谢维拉!但我再也不想看到那个了!”
              精灵们再一次像榨果汁一样把人类挤出船,不剩任何东西。“啊,兄弟,为什么这个如此沉。我要再看看这个小黑屋里有什么。”加里安说。























第二十二棒 @佛罗伦萨的俯瞰者 























These are the elves and drawfs.








They surrounded there, sipping serum withsuger, beating their best beer regularly and seeking to breed. Then one of theelves said, ”Come, my obedient lord, the fourth turn is yours to play somepleasant, amazing gay games.”








There was a maniac lord clapping his hands.“Oh my sanity! A fool in the door, your world. For your heart gets warm likeheated Hokkaido beer, while your voice sounds like a Valar in Valinorexclaiming: Prepare for your trip to Námo’s halls! 








Then with a crystal bracelet tool, Galliangiggled, “This curios speaks nothing but lies and nonsense.” Another elfpondering over his dinner, “ If our king knew that his light butter andhigh-alcohol wine were thrown into the rive, we shall have a brighter flight toMandos!” 








Nothing, we’ve brought all the glory to ourlord. He is such brilliantly such stunningly beautiful, making everyone of usinfatuated. Oh! Marvellous! Everyone welcomes our king! Everyone loves him so!Wonderful! Excellent! Extraordinary! 








Hearing these praise, the high knight shookhis head hard like a domestic little elf. This was edited by a heroine oreffected by hard efforts.








Bilbo objected, “Oh my! Why are they actinglike a group of mushroom!”








Then the whole world darkened as thesun-goddess Anor rose to stand. “Can’t believe what I have seen. The elves arethrowing bacon into river. Following them——these crazy bastards, they are stilltrembling even when they have decided to leap over the small lake in themountains.”








These elves were busy looking fish, sharks,killer whales, eels, jellyfish, manta rays, dolphins, various cartilaginous orboney fish, so no one can get into the Hobbit’s house. Then he shouted, “Hailour great communist party, thanks to the Valars! But I do not want to see thatagain! “








These elves squeezed the men out of theship like squeezing juice, and then nothing left. “Oh brother,why is it suchheavy. I want to see what’s in this dark room.” Galliansaid.








 















第二十三棒 @人鱼藻 















 这些就是精灵和矮人们。他们在这里围着坐下,啜饮着树汁,时不时敲击一下装有上好啤酒的酒桶,以寻找最合适的酿酒方式。然后,一个精灵说道:“来吧,我顺服的大人,这已经到第四轮了,该你加入这场令人心情愉悦的游戏了。”
一位癫狂的领主拍了拍手。他开口道:“哦,理智啊!门里的愚人是你的世界。你的心像加热过的北海道的蓝色啤酒,你的嗓音像是维拉在维林诺宣布:准备好去曼督斯一游吧!”
加里安笑了,他的声音仿佛水晶镯的丁零当啷声:“这个奇人只会说谎和胡言乱语。”
另一个精灵对着他的餐点沉思:“如果我们的国王知道他的淡黄油和烈酒付之东流了,我们前往曼督斯的路程没准会更亮堂些。”
无妨,我们已经给王上带去了无上荣耀。他如此美丽,举世无双,仅仅瞥一眼就令人昏厥——我们每个人都沉醉其中。哦,真是不可思议!人人欢迎我们的王!人人爱戴他!惊人啊!妙啊!精妙绝伦啊!
听到这些赞赏的话,高个子的骑士像个小孩似的摇摇头。这是英雄主义和艰苦努力的结果。
比尔博抗议:“天哪!为什么他们都蠢得跟一堆蘑菇似的!”
接着,整个世界黯淡下来,仿佛太阳女神阿瑞恩起身。“真没法相信我看见了什么。精灵把腌肉往河里丢。跟着他们的那些疯子、恶棍,即使在他们决定跨越群山里的那个小湖之后仍在颤抖。”
精灵们正忙着寻找鱼、鲨鱼、杀人鲸、鳝鱼、水母、蝠鲼、海豚、各式各样的地图或是篝火,所以没人能进入哈比人的小屋。“感谢维拉!”他大喊,“我可不想再看到那东西了!”
这些精灵像榨果汁一样地,把这些人类从船里挤出来,什么也没剩下。“哦,我的兄弟,为什么它如此沉重……我想知道在这黑暗的空间里到底有些什么。”加里安说。




















便宜出一波旧书,品相大都九品以上,大堆里喜欢哪本可以私聊,很多都是年轻时候的黑历史..部分书可以买一赠一,有喜欢的可以私聊我。可以走孔夫子旧书网,闲鱼看情况因为闲鱼上架有些麻烦x劳扩

阿尔达翻译总局中土支部搞事记录

好想好想,再来一次第一棒)

Princess Sally:

原文



 突然フロドは、自分でも驚いたことに、煮え繰り返る怒りに胸の中が熱くなるのを覚えました。
「ホビット荘の一の太刀!」
彼はそう叫ぶと、ひらりとボロミアの傍らに身を踊らせ、体をかがめると、みるも恐ろしい足に貫き丸を柄も通れと突き刺しました。吠えるような唸り声とともに、足がぐいと後に退かれ、もう少しでフロドの腕から貫き丸をもぎ取ってしまうところでした。劔の刃からは黒い血がぽとぽとと滴り、床の上で煙となりました。ボロミアは再び扉に体をぶつけて、ぴしゃりと扉を閉めてしまいました。
「誠、ホビット荘の一の太刀よ!」
と、アラゴルンが叫びました。
「ホビットの一突きは深いぞ!ドロゴの息子フロドよ、あんたは名刀をお持ちだ!」

......

「貴様は渡ることはできぬ。」
と、彼は言いました。オークどもはじっと立ち尽くし、死の静けさが辺りを満たしました。
「わしは神秘の火に仕える者、アノールの焔の使い手じゃ。貴様は渡ることはできぬ。暗き火、ウドゥンの焔は貴様の助けとはならぬ。常つ闇に戻るが良い!貴様は渡ることはできぬ。」
バルログはそれには答えませんでした。その中の火は消えるかのように思われましたが、それを取り巻く影はいよいよ色濃くなりました。それはゆっくりと足を踏み出して橋にさしかかりました。そして、不意に体を真っ直ぐに伸ばして雲つくほどの高さになり、その翼を壁に届く、ほど広げました。それでもガンダルフの姿は暗闇の中に微かに光って見えました。その姿は小さく、孤影悄然と映りました、灰色で腰が曲がり、嵐に襲われようとしている老いさらばえた一本の木のように。
暗い影の中から、赤い剣が火を吐いて躍り出ました。
それを受けて、グラムドリングが白く煌きました。
鏘然と刃が触れ、白い火がほとばしりました。バルログは後ずさりし、その剣を粉々に飛び散って溶けてしまいました。魔法使いは橋の上でよろよろとしましたが、一歩下がってふたたび微動もせずに立ってしまいました。
「貴様は通すことができぬ!」と、彼が言いました。
一跳びでバルログは橋の上に跳び上がりました。鞭がヒュー、ヒューと唸りました。
「あのひとひとりではむりだ!」アラゴルンが不意にそう叫ぶと、橋を駆け戻りました。「エレンディルにかけて!」彼は声を張り上げました。「加勢しますぞ、ガンダルフ!」







第一棒 @リンギル 



 突然,弗罗多胸中沸腾的怒气觉醒了。这是连他自己都感到惊讶的事。
“霍比特庄第一的太刀!”
(霍比特庄……第一的太刀……
第一的……太刀……
太刀……)
他这样高喊着,敏捷地跳到波罗米尔脚边,弯下身体,对着那看起来就很恐怖的大脚,全力用贯通丸(贯通丸)进行了突刺。
随着一声吠叫般的呻吟,那只脚飞快地向后退去,差一点把贯通丸从弗罗多手里拽了出去。剑刃上的黑血一滴一滴地掉落,地板上冒起了烟。波罗米尔第二次撞到门上,砰地关上了大门。
“不愧是霍比特庄第一的太刀啊!”阿拉贡叫道。“霍比特人的突刺真是厉害!卓果的儿子啊!你有一把好刀!”
……
“你这家伙绝不能通过。”他如此说道。奥克们一动不动地站着,死一般的寂静弥漫在周围。“老夫侍奉神秘之火,乃阿诺鲁烈焰使是也。你这家伙绝不能通过。暗之火、乌顿之焰对你这家伙毫无助益。回到恒久的黑暗中去更好!你这家伙绝不能通过。”
炎魔对此没有回答。它体内的火焰火焰虽然看起来像是要熄灭的样子,包裹着它的影子的颜色却更浓了。它慢慢地迈出脚步向桥逼近。然后它的身体突然暴长,双翼舒展开来,几乎要碰到墙壁。
即使如此,甘道夫的身影也在黑暗中闪着微光,清晰可见(原来自带柔光的居然是干豆腐吗!)。那身影很渺小,孤影悄然映在墙壁上,灰色的身体佝偻着,像是一棵被风侵袭着的衰老的树。
暗影中,赤色的剑吞吐着火焰跃出。
格拉姆德凛闪烁着煌煌白光应战。
双刃铿然相撞,腾起了一道白焰。炎魔往后倒退,它的剑被熔化成齑粉四处散落。魔法使在桥上摇晃着倒退了一步,之后就一动不动地站稳了。
“你这家伙绝不能通过。”他如此说道。
炎魔跳到了桥上,鞭子发出“咻——”“咻——”的嘶吼。
“他一个人是不行的!”阿拉贡突然大叫道,飞快地向桥跑回去。“以埃兰迪尔之名!”他提高了声音。“我来助阵,甘道夫!” 





第二棒 @周雲生 



Suddenly, in the boiling anger awakened frodo. It was a surprise even to himself. "The Hobbit Zhuang first school!" Hobbit (zhuang...... The first school...... First of all... Taidao...... It...)... He shouted, quickly jump into the Boromir feet, bend the body, it looks very scary at the feet, to use through the pill (through pill) by thrusting. With a loud groan barked, the foot quickly fell back to a pill through hand ye out from frodo. The blade on the black blood drop falling on the floor, the smoke. Baltic hit the door second times and slammed the door. "It is the first of the Hobbit Zhuang Tachi ah!" Aragon called. "The Hobbit spike is really powerful! The son of Zhuo! You have a good knife! "... "You can't go through this guy." He said so. The orks stood motionless, and the dead silence pervaded. "I serve the mystic fire, but the fire is also Anuolu. You can't go through this guy. The dark fire, the flame of udun to you this guy with no benefit. It's better to go back to the everlasting darkness. You can't go through this guy. " Who has no answer. Although the flame in its body looks like it is going to be extinguished, the color of its shadow is thicker. It slowly stepped out and approached the bridge. Then the body was suddenly long, the wings spread out and almost touched the wall. Even so, Gandalf figure also shimmering in the dark, clearly visible (original with soft light is actually dry tofu!). The figure is very small, they are quietly reflected in the walls, gray body bent, like a wind with old trees. In the shadow of red flames leapt out of puff sword. Gram de flashing bright white light with rin. Double kengran collided with a white flame off. The sword is backwards, it melted into pieces scattered everywhere. The magic wobbled a step on the bridge, and then stood still. "You can't go through this guy." He said so. The Balrog leaped on to the bridge, a whip "poofing" poofing "roar. "He can't do it alone!" Aragon suddenly shouted and ran back to the bridge. "In the name of e!" He raised his voice. "I come back, gandalf!"





第三棒 @布丁 



 突然,弗罗多在极度的怒火中惊醒。甚至对于他来说,这是一个惊喜。“霍比屯第一作死小分队!”霍比(屯……第一作死小分队……首先……你懂得……它……)…他大叫着,一下子跳进了大菠萝脚下,蜷缩着身子,从脚下看非常可怕,只能用药片来抚慰受伤的心灵。随着一声巨响的狗的呻吟,一只脚很快地踩到了弗罗多手上的药片。刀锋上的黑血滴落到地上,烟雾弥漫。Baltic两次击打并猛击们。“上帝啊,这是霍比屯第一次出现如此可怕的事!”阿拉贡叫到,“霍比特人戳人真tm猛!我的上帝,你有一把很棒的小刀!”
“你不能过去!”他说。半兽人僵立着,一片死寂。“我是神秘之火的仆人,驾驭阿诺尔之火。你个呆头滚远点,黑暗之火,乌顿之焰对你没卵用,滚回永恒的黑暗中去吧!你个傻逼不能过去!” 炎魔没有回答。尽管它躯体里的火好像快要熄灭,但阴影愈发深重。它缓慢地步上桥来。之后它的躯体突然变长,双翼横展直抵城墙。尽管如此,甘道夫的身影依然在黑暗中闪耀,(事实上微光几乎烘干了豆腐)。那个身影十分渺小,悄无声息地反射在墙上,豆腐的的身影苍老又佝偻,像一棵被狂风击打的老树。在阴影中,一把红焰缠绕的长剑挥出。格拉姆德凛剑闪着明亮的寒光应战。两剑交击,白焰迸射。炎魔向后退去,它的剑融化成碎片撒向四周。巫师在桥上摇晃了一下,依然站定。“你滚!”他说。炎魔气得纵身一跃,直接跳到了桥上,鞭子在空中挥舞,嘶嘶作响。“他不能自己一个人上!”阿拉贡突然大喊,跑回了桥上,“以那个变成星星的精之名!”他高喊,“我来了,干豆腐!”





第四棒 @The Gray Dawn 



Suddenly Frodo woke up in a terrible rage. It was a surprise even for himself. "The first death-seeking squad of Hobbiton! (the first death-seeking squad of Hobbiton, FIRST, you know it)" he cried. At a stroke he jumped towards the feet of Boromir and crouched down. The scene looked terrible from this angle, and he could only take pills to soothe the wounded spirit. With a loud moan of a dog, a foot quickly stepped on the pills in Frodo's hand. Black blood on the blade fell to the ground with smoke swirling nearby. Baltic struck and pounded twice. "Eru, this is the first time that Hobbiton has ever seen such a terrible thing!" Aragorn shouted, "Hobbits are so fxxking fierce when stabbing people! Oh my Eru Ilúvatar, you have a great knife!"


"You shall not pass!" he said. Orcs stood rigidly in silence. "I am the servant of Secret Fire reining the fire of Anor. Keep your dull head out of my way. The dark fire, the flame of Udûn doesn't work for you. Go back to the eternal darkness! You shall not pass, you fool!"

The balrog didn't answer. Though the fire in its body seemed to be dying out, the shadows deepened. It came slowly to the bridge. Then its body suddenly grew longer, and its wings spread directly to the wall. Even so, Gandalf's figure still sparkled in the dark (in fact, the twilight almost dried Tofu). That figure was fairly small, reflected silently on the wall. Tofu's figure was old and bent like an old tree beaten by the wild wind. In the shadow, a long sword with red flames coiled round it swung out. Glamdring met the attack, shining with a bright cold light. The two swords bounced off each other and a white flame leapt out. The balrog receded and its sword melted into pieces spread around. The wizard swayed on the bridge and then stood still. "Get out of the way!" he said. Angrily, the balrog leapt straight up to the bridge with its whip swung in the air and hissed.

"He shouldn't fight alone!" Aragorn suddenly cried and ran back to the bridge. "In the name of the elf who became a star!" he shouted, "I'm here, Dry Tofu!"







第五棒 @welleran 



 突然间,弗罗多在一阵强烈的怒意中醒来。这情绪甚至令他自己都大吃一惊。“来自霍比屯的首支自杀小队!(来自霍比屯的首支自杀小队,真是前所未有,你很清楚这一点)”他叫道,他一下子跳起来,扑向博洛米尔的脚边,蹲了下来。从这里望去,眼前的场景令人触目惊心,而他只能服些药来缓和备受创伤的精神。伴随一声响亮的犬吠,一阵迅疾的脚步声向着手捧药丸的弗罗多传来。刀刃上的黑血滴落在地,在地面腾起缕缕轻烟。波罗的海的浪涛来回拍打、撞击着海岸。“一如啊,这定是霍比屯头一回赶上如此可怕的事!”阿拉贡喊道,“霍比特人在捅人时真是太他娘的勇猛了!哦,一如·伊露维塔在上,你这把宝刀棒极了!”

 “你休想过去!”他说道。奥克们寂然止步。“我乃秘火之仆,统御日神烈焰。带着你愚钝的头颅滚开,别挡我的路。黑暗之火,乌顿之炎不会听你调遣。滚回永恒的黑暗中去!你休想过去,你这蠢货!”那炎魔并不回答。虽然它周身的火焰似乎行将熄灭,阴影却愈发深重了。它缓步向桥走去。随后,它的身躯突然伸展变长,它的翼翅扩张开来直抵墙壁。即便如此,甘豆腐的身影依旧在黑暗中迸发光芒(事实上,那微末的光芒几乎耗尽了豆腐体内的水分)。那身影相当渺小,安静地投映在墙上。豆腐的身躯苍老又佝偻,如同一株狂风席卷之下的老树。阴影中,一把赤焰缭绕的长剑旋刺而出。格拉姆德凛神剑接下一击,闪耀出明亮凛冽的光辉。两把武器相撞,彼此弹开了对方,流泻出一道灿白的火光。炎魔向后退却,它的剑融化为四散飞舞的碎片。巫师站在桥上,身影微微一晃,随即站稳。“好狗不挡道!”他说道。炎魔怒不可遏,径直跃上桥梁,它的翼翅扇动空气,嘶嘶作响。
 “他不该独自作战!”阿拉贡暴发出一声大喊并冲回桥边。“以化星的精灵之名!”他喊道,“有我在此,豆腐干!”





第六棒 甩莉



Suddenly, Frodo waked up in violent wrath. The terrible emotion even made himself shocked.


 


‘The suicide squad of Hobbiton! ’He screamed and jumped to hit Boromir’s knees.


 


Being watched from here, the spot he saw was extremely better. Hence, he must take some pills to comfort his little heart. With loud baking, a shadowy footstep shock Frodo’s ears. The black blood dripped from the blade and turned into smoke when it hit the ground. The wave of Baltic Sea flatted the shore of Falas.


 


‘O mighty Eru! It must be the first terrible thing that Hobbiton undergoes! ’Aragon shouted, ‘The Hobbits are fucking valiant as if they were hundreds of Fingon! OH my Elbereth, we are fucking turned into R18 now? Your blade is pretty awesome!  ’


 


‘You shall not pass! ’so he spoke ,Orcs were stopped, ‘I am the servant of the Secret Fire, master of Flame of Sun . Fuck off you silly head! The fire of Morgoth is shit to me! ’The Balorg didn’t answer. Although the fire surrounding him dimmed, the shadow became darker. It walked to the bridge. Suddenly ,BOOM!!!!!!! Its body swelled and BARM!!! The wings ruined the walls. Even so Gandalf shone in the darkness(Actually the shinning sparkle squeezed out every water of Tofu, made him become dried bean curd. )The shade was weak and got rachitis. A fire sword tore the shadow, with the breath of Gothmog. But Glamdring cut it into pieces. The debris flicked everywhere, left scars on wizard’s face. There was pale flame lighting the darkness. Wizard stood om the bridge like a iron tower.


 


‘You know nothing about the power! ’He roared.


 


‘He is not alone! ’Aragon shouted and rushed to the bridge, ‘In the name of Earendil! I am coming for you!! ’





第七棒 @看到青钰请叫她去写字/写文 









第八棒 @猩红热病的女儿 



All of a sudden, Frodo woke up from fury. The rage was so fierce that he was completely shocked.
「The Hobbit Suicide Squad!」He cried out, accidentally kicked Boromir in his knees.
He looked around, the view around him seemed far more better than before. He thought that he might as well take some pills to comfort his nerves. Among all the fire and heat, some faint footsteps crushed into Frodo's ear. Black blood streamed down the blade, some smoke rose as the blood met the ground. The waves of Baltio razed the beach of Falas.
「OMG! This must have been the most terrifying thing a hobbit have ever done!」Aragon said in a loud voice, 「Our little halfling can act as a thousand times braver as Fingon the valiant! By Elebereth! What we have done must have raised the level to R18 already!」
「YOU SHALL NOT FUCKING PASS!」He said so, and the orcs hastied, 「I am the servant of the Secret Fire, the master of the fire of Anar, you fool just step aside! Go and tell your good master Morgoth, his bloody fire was nothing more than some little sparklings to me!」
Balrog said nothing, the fire around him dimmed, but the darkness gathered and it was even darker.
He walked towards the bridge, and his body expanded suddenly. The wings shattered the walls, Gandalf was twinkling in the darkness like a little lamp twinkling at night. The shadow was weakened, the sword of fire teared the darkness apart, as well as the breath of Gothmog. However, Glamdring cut them into pieces, the pieces were glimmering everywhere, and left scars on the pretty face of the wizard who was steadily standing on the bridge like an iron tower.
「You know nothing about power!」He cried.
「He is not alone!」Aragon shouted as he rushed towards the bridge, 「In the name of Earendil, let it be war upon us both!」





第九棒 @Elenar 



 突然,弗罗多感到一种愤怒在他心底觉醒,这力量太过强大,令他全身震栗。
“霍比特自杀小队!”他大喊一声,不小心踢到了波洛米尔的膝盖。
他环顾四周,发现自己的视力好了许多。他觉得他也许该同时吃点药来舒缓一下神经。在火与热中,一些模糊的脚步声撞击着弗罗多的耳膜。黑色的血从剑刃上滑落,在触到地面时腾起阵阵烟雾。Baltio的巨浪摧毁了法拉斯的沙滩。

“我天!这肯定是一个霍比特做过最恐怖的事情了!”阿拉贡大声说道,“我们的小半身人比英勇的芬巩还要勇敢一千倍!埃尔贝瑞丝啊!我们做的事怕不是已经到了R18的范畴了!”

“你tm别想过!”甘道夫说道,奥克们迟疑了,“我是秘火的仆人,阿纳尔之火的主人,你们这些傻子,站到一边去!去告诉你们的好主人魔苟斯,他的辣鸡火焰对我来说还不如小火花!”

炎魔什么也没说,他周身的火焰黯淡了,但黑暗聚拢起来,甚至更暗了一些。

他走向大桥,身体突然膨胀起来,他的翅膀打碎了墙。甘道夫在黑暗中闪着光,如同一盏小夜灯。暗影萎缩了,烈火的利剑撕裂了黑暗,正如勾斯魔格的呼吸。然而,格拉姆德凛将他们砍碎,碎片到处发着光,在巫师英俊的脸上留下了伤痕,他仍坚定地站在桥上,像一座铁塔。

“你对力量一无所知!”他喊道。

“他并非独自一人!”阿拉贡一边冲到桥边一边喊道,“以爱雅仁迪尔之名,让我们二人共同战斗!”






第十棒 @妮涅尔·涅诺尔 









 第十一棒 @杨不找 



        狂怒自佛罗多心底苏醒。这熊熊怒火来得突然又过于凶猛,佛罗多为此暗中惊奇。
        “霍比特自杀小队!”他大声叫着,忽地踢向了菠萝蜜的膝盖。
        佛罗多四下而视,发现自己目光所及处纤毫毕现,同时也觉得需要吃枣药丸来冷静一下。在愤怒带来的炽热火焰中,他感到有晦暗难明的脚步正行走在他紧绷的神经之弦上。黑色的血液自剑身上垂落,空气变得污浊混沌。波罗的海(?)的浪涛汹涌地冲击着法拉斯的海滩。(这个蜜汁波罗的海应该是菠萝蜜变成的……吧?)
        “一如在上!这一定是一个霍比特人做过最出格的事情!”阿拉贡大声说。“我们的小霍比特的胆识胜过冯巩千百倍!噫,繁星之后啊!我们整出来的这些事儿怕不是已经触及成人限制级的临界点了!”(逻辑已经领便当了,再见)

        “你TMD不能过去!”干豆腐毫不吝惜他的嗓门。Yorch有些犹疑。“吾乃秘火之仆,阿诺尔烈焰之所属。”他继续说,“有多远滚多远,汝等竖子!告诉你主子魔苟斯,他的火焰不过是小儿科——于我而言还不如一朵烟花来得刺激。”
        炎魔默不作声(大概是不知道怎么回答这神经病的发言)。他身体里的火焰看上去甚至就要熄灭,但影翳在他身后聚集,甚至愈加阴沉。
        干豆腐走到桥上。他的身量骤然拔高,双翼撑裂了墙壁。(咦……干豆腐是蚁人吗变大变小真奇妙?翅膀又是哪儿来的?)干豆腐在昏暗中散发出光辉,就像深夜里的一盏明灯。阴影散去了,火焰和剑击破了黑暗,恰如击破勾斯魔格的吐息。而格兰瑞将之斩作碎片,寸寸碎片散落各处,皆闪烁着微光。不幸的是,干豆腐的俊脸(?)受了点小伤。但他仍然坚挺地站在桥上。
        “你对力量一无所知。”他道。“不能让甘道夫一个人清怪,”阿拉贡喊着奔向那座桥,“以埃兰迪尔之名!我们一起战斗!”





第 十二棒 @猴子请来的逗比da 



  Now Frodo was awaking. The fire came suddenly and violently,he was astonished about this in his heart.
  "The Hobbits' Special Force!"He roared,then kicked Jackfruit's knee suddenly.
  Frodo looked around,found he could see anything,then thought he needed to calm down by eating some pills with jujube.
  In the fire which from the wrath,he felt some muddy footsteps were in his taut nerves.Black blood dropped from the sword,and the air    became dirtier and dirtier.The Baltic  Sea's waves billowed Fallas' beach.(这段本来就很迷)
  "Oh my God!That must be a hobbit  had done the craziest thing!"Aragon said loudly."Our tiny hobbits are more courageous than Feng Gong!Ah,the Queen of stars!The thing we had done may be don't fit teenagers  now!"
(迷×2)
  "Oh fuck!You can't pass it!"Dried Beancurd cried,Yorch stood irresolute."I'm the servant of fire,I'm from Arnor's fire!"he continued,"Get away from there!You beasts!Tell your master Morgorth,his fire is just so so——for me,it not as exciting as a 76mm howitzer."
  The Balrog didn't say anything.It seems that his body's fire would die out in silence,but shadows gathered behind him,they indeed became much gloomier.
  Dried Beancurd walked to the bridge.His body became taller suddenly,the wings made the wall collapsed.(别问我这怪怪的东西哪来的)Dried Beancurd'light which from his  head just like a flaming magnesium.Now the shadows died out,fire and sword killed the dark,just like torn it limb from limb and made it explored.The fragments fell down here and there,shone and shone.Unluckily,Dried Beancurd'handsome face was hurt.But he still stood on the bridge."You know nothing about power."he said."We can't let Dried Beancurd combat it only himself,"Aragon ran there with shout."For Middle Earth,for victory,for Earendil!Let's fight together!"(为了斯大林!)







第十三棒 @工二一 



 如今佛罗多醒了,火焰忽然熊熊燃烧起来,他的内心感到震惊!“霍比特人的原力竟然如此强大!” 他踢了一脚冰人杰克的膝盖,吼道。

佛罗多看了看周围,发现他的双眼被原力点亮了,啥都看得清,于是他决定吃点肥啾的药丸冷静一下。


穿过愤怒之火,有些泥泞脚步声使他毛骨悚然。黑血从剑尖滴下,空气越来越浑浊,波罗的海的海浪拍打着达拉斯的海岸。


“我的天啊!霍比特人原来是要干大事的!” 阿拉贡(西班牙的一个地名)大声说道,“我们的小霍比特人勇猛胜过冯巩,热度胜过郭冬临!以星辰之后之名,再这么说下去就要18X了……”


“嗷,法克!你挂科了。”干豆腐喊到。耀西则是一脸冷漠:“我乃火之仆从,生自雅诺之火!” 他接着说,“滚!你这大怪兽!告诉你的主子魔苟斯,他的火也就……一般般。至少对于我来说,还没士兵76来得爽快。”


炎魔一言不发。它似乎意识到了它的火焰之躯将会静静熄灭,但阴影在它身后形成,一切突然阴郁起来。


干豆腐走上桥,他的身影越发高大,翅膀已经顶在了墙壁上,头上散发出镁光灯一般的圣光!阴影退散,火焰剑刺破黑暗,黑暗中的秘密无处再隐藏,只能碎了一地。


不幸的是,干豆腐帅脸着地了,但他立刻站起来,在桥上喊道:“你对力量一无所知!” 但阿拉贡说:“别让他把功劳都抢了!” 说着,他跑到桥上大喊道:“为了中洲!为了胜利!为了埃兰迪尔!为了斯大林!战斗吧!!”






第十四棒 @Alessar 



Now that Frodo has woken up, flame bursts into blaze all of a sudden, he’s never felt so shocked. ‘Behold, the irresistible Force of Hobbit the Jedi!’ He roars and kicks Jack Frost in his knee. Frodo looks around, realizing that his eyes are lit up by the Force, everything is crystal clear as if he is the Monkey King. Thus, he makes up his mind to take a pill in order to calm down.

  Through the Flame of Rage, creepy footsteps on the muddy road make him shiver. Dark blood drops from the tip of his sword, denser and denser the air is getting. Waves of the Baltic endlessly crash on the shore of Dallas.

  ‘Oh my! The Hobbit is destined to become a legend!’ Aragon cries out, ’Oh, our little Hobbit is more valiant than Fingon the Elven King, more on fire than Gondolin the great! In name of Elentari the beloved, we are straying too far from being suitable for children…’

  ‘Oh, fuck! YOU SHALL NOT PAAAAAAASS!’ Gandalf shouts out like your Math teacher. Yoshi, however, is as cool as ice, being a chicken. ‘Go to hell Godzilla! Tell your master Morgoth that his fire is just…so so. At least not as destructive as Soldier No.76 to me.’

   Balrog doesn’t say a thing, it seems to realize how its body of fire will eventually extinguish in silence. Shadow grows and everything darkens meanwhile.

   Gandalf walks on the runway (bridge I mean…) like a supermodel, even taller he now seems, wings pushing up the ceiling, carrying a blinding halo like a magnesium lamp. The shadow backs down, the sword of fire pierce the darkness, no more place for secrets to conceal, they all shatter, just like glass.

  Unfortunately, Gandalf falls down, unwilling to show us his handsome face. But he stands up immediately and calls: ’You know nothing about my power!’ However, Aragon says:’ Spare some credit for me!’ At the same instant he speeds to the bridge with sword in his hand, yelling:’ For Middle Earth! For victory! For Earendil! For Stalin! Battle, to the last! ’






第十五棒 @言已 



 现在当佛罗多起来,心中充满惊愕,直至变为完全的,突然的激动。他从未感到如此震惊。
“紧抓那不可抗拒的哈比人之势!”佛罗多大吼一声。他环顾四周,认识到他所见之物都因那股力量而被照亮。那一切都清澈而晶莹。他让自己振作起来,去反抗。
在泥泞的道路上,令人毛骨悚然的足迹让他颤抖。黑血从他的剑锋上滴落,空气变得越来越浑浊。无限的碎石落到他的秘银甲上。
“噢天哪!那哈比人命中注定要成为一个传说!”阿拉贡大叫:“我们小小的哈比人比精灵王芬巩更勇敢,比贡多林更能抵御骤火!以爱的名义,我们在歧路中迷失得太远。”
“F**K!你不能过来!!!!”甘道夫像你的数学老师一样大声呼喊。
“告诉你的主人魔苟斯!他的火焰对我没有一点威胁!”
炎魔什么也没说,它邪火的身躯似乎真的最后在沉默中被扑灭。影子开始蔓延,一切更为黑暗。
GANDALF像个超级模特一样在桥上走着。那影子消散了,那火之剑刺破了黑暗。没有更多的地方让那些敌人埋伏了,他们都粉碎了,像易碎的玻璃。不幸的是,甘道夫摔倒了,他勉强抬起他那帅气的脸。但他立刻站起来并叫喊:“你对我的力量一无所知!”
但阿拉贡说:“给我省掉一点得意!”在那紧急关头,他快速地用手上的剑(杀掉敌人?)快速过桥,大声疾呼:“为了中土!为了胜利!为了埃雅仁迪尔!战斗,冲向尽头!”




青岛书房阁楼一角

猫咪刚从原主家接出来,在猫包里
原主给我们开门的时候,她突然从主人怀里跳出来,抖着小短腿跑进里面的房间。阿姨说她聪明的很,自己心里知道要离开家了,因为以前家里来客人从没有这么慌张过。被找出来的时候喵呜喵呜叫个不停,小耳朵都低下来了,好委屈。阿姨告诉我们,她可能一到家就会找地方躲起来,不用管她,等她自己出来就好。
我……唉。@看到青钰请叫她去写字/写文 

Feanolfin/据说养猫的男人都是基佬 01

我决定了,从现在开始我要转型做宠物po主,嗯。

看到青钰请叫她去写字/写文:


·「宠物」系列之一,之二(是三白)不见得会写,事实上连这一篇的第二部分我都不见得会写。
·人精共存AU
·题目是瞎起的。
·ooc,ooc和ooc。
·哦,他们相爱已久了。

Feanor/Fingolfin→Feanaro/Nolofinwe

Nolofinwe养了一只猫。


按说精灵本不应该喜欢猫的。但是那天他推开家门去上班,就看到门口多了个小箱子,黑白相间的小奶猫在箱子里缩成一团睡得正香,大概是被人遗弃了的小家伙。


猫早已不是Morgoth的仆从了,而独居的Nolofinwe也不介意家里多一个可爱的小家伙。于是小猫就顺理成章地在他的公寓里住了下来,他便叫她Ringil。与她同名的那柄剑早在他与大敌决斗时便已损毁了。那冰冷而忠实的伙伴再没法陪伴他了,现在伴在他身边的是个温暖又柔软的小家伙。她会蜷缩在他枕边与他共眠,在他敲击键盘时跃上书桌,也会在他读书的时候爬到他的膝盖上。


Ringil长得很快。Nolofinwe作为长寿的精灵,不论过了多少年还是会为此感到惊讶。那个小小的毛球很快就长大了,现在她走在书架上的样子已经有些雍容的气度了,她的体重也与日俱增——不得不说,Nolofinwe为她准备的饮食确实过于丰富了些。


Nolofinwe是经人提醒才发现这一点的。金发的Turkafinwe送Iresse回家小住,精通百兽语言的精灵在和Ringil交流过后,为他的叔父提供了一套详细的节食方案。而Ringil在威逼利诱之下不情不愿地同意了。


而Feanaro从自己三子处得知这件事后,也破天荒地对半兄弟的宠物感了兴趣。这可挺有意思的,毕竟Nolofinwe从没养过小动物(不,你不能把Rochallor算作小动物),Feanaro也很难想象Nolofinwe坐在沙发上为小猫梳理毛发的样子。


(他并不知道,在他们走出曼督斯,再次前往中洲之间的那段时间里,Nolofinwe就是把他当作一只大猫养的)


而Feanaro向来雷厉风行。


他迅速地把自己工作室的事物交接给Curufinwe,订了一张机票,两手空空地跑去Nolofinwe家——哦,他连个电话都没有打——所以在Nolofinwe打开家门的时候,意外地发现暌违已久的兄长正倚在沙发上,对着他举起了酒杯。


“怎么突然过来了?”


“难道我来还需要向你报备?”Feanaro挑挑眉,露出一个相当嘲讽的微笑。


“所以那套备用钥匙果然是您拿走的。”


“怎么,你不愿我来?”


“并不是——”Nolofinwe转过身去,脱下外套往衣帽架上挂。而Feanaro趁他不备,端着酒杯轻手轻脚地走到他身后,用那只空闲的手揽住身前人的腰身,摩挲起衬衫下的肌肉线条。


“Arakano。”Feanaro的声音低沉,激得怀中人脊背一阵发麻,“不打算迎接你的兄长么。”


Nolofinwe低低地回应了一声,他们交换了一个微醺的吻。Feanaro一向极会享受,他从兄弟的酒柜里拣了最好的一支酒出来,酒味浓烈又醉人。而此刻他邀请对方与他一起品尝这酒香,Nolofinwe也欣然接受。烈酒让这个吻和接下来的许多个吻起了奇妙的反应,Feanaro的手渐渐自怀中精灵的腰际下滑到臀部,而Nolofinwe则抬起手抚摩对方裸露出的肌肤。


但是事情永远都不会像你想象得那么美好。


就在Feanaro终于要忍无可忍地把自己的半兄弟扔到床上的时候,Ringil跑了过来,她用肉爪子在Feanaro那条昂贵的西裤上挠来挠去,看起来好像要爬上去。幸好Nolofinwe有给小猫修剪趾甲的习惯,不然Feanaro可能会抓狂。


他们只好作罢。Feanaro咬着牙揪起小猫的后颈皮,把她拉到和自己平齐的高度,她在空中无助地扑腾着,Feanaro从这画面中得到了一丝报复的快感——然后Nolofinwe把小猫从他手中抢回来,不满地看了他一眼。


“您和她计较什么。”


Feanaro翻了个白眼,觉得自己更生气了。他扯过Nolofinwe的领子,恶声恶气地说:“你这半种……养的猫都这么惹人厌。”


Nolofinwe笑了起来,笑声中带着促狭的味道:“您这样子好像未成年的小精灵,需要我帮忙顺毛么?”


“未成年小精灵可没法满足你。”


这下Nolofinwe不说话了。他蹲下去揉了小猫头顶细软的毛发,Feanaro就在一边喝着酒看他。Ringil在Nolofinwe的爱抚下眯起了眼睛,细声细气地叫着,除此之外没有人说话。直到Feanaro说:“我听说了她的名字。”


Nolofinwe没有起身,用一个语音上扬的嗯回答了他。


“我应该为你重新打造一把剑的。”Feanaro说。


Nolofinwe没有说话,只是笑了笑。



·这个是旧文,发出来的原因是@周雲生 同学最近养了一只猫,成天发猫片欺负没有猫的我们也就算了,今天早上还对我抱怨这猫的淘气想要把她送走。


请大家同我一起谴责她,谢谢。